Forever Yours
by I.Am.Molly
Summary: Leonard and Penny have both been left dateless for their friends wedding. Can this be enough to bring them closer together? Sorry for the not great summary, more will be explained inside. This is mainly a lenny story, but all characters will be included in the fic. Please read, review and hopefully enjoy :)
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, so looks like I have been bitten by the writing bug! There are a few things you should know before you start reading the story. Leonard and Priya are together, for now, and Priya is in India. So I guess you could say it takes place around the beginning of series 5. Everything else is as it was, except I have moved Howard and Bernadettes wedding up to fit my story. In this chapter the wedding is only a week away.**

**I think that is all that I have to say, if you do have any questions just ask .Well I hope you enjoy my story, please review if you have any comments, good or bad! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, besides the story!**

Leonard walked out from his room and slumped down onto his chair. He was obviously upset about something, but his ever oblivious friend, Sheldon failed to notice. He had just come off the phone to Priya and she had told him that she would not be returning to Pasadena for Howard and Bernadette's wedding, citing work issues as the reason for her staying in India. Leonard was so disappointed. He had been looking forward to spending some time with her since she had been gone for almost two months. Not only that, but he really didn't want to go to the wedding on his own, the rest of the gang all had dates.

Penny was taking her newest boyfriend, Jimmy… Or was it James? He wasn't sure he had only met him once in the hallway. She had, unsurprisingly, reverted back to her old type in the area of boyfriends; tall, gorgeous and stupid. Raj had also found himself a date. Her name was Sophia, and although none of the group, besides Penny, had met her, Raj had told them everything he knew about her. From what he had told them, she was a pretty girl, a little smaller than him, with brunette hair, cut into a short bob. She was a very forward girl, not shy in the slightest and had spent the most of the evening when they first met at the cheesecake factory, chatting away, not giving Raj the chance to speak, even if he could. Raj told them that when he finally got the chance to speak, with help from some liquor of course, he had asked her to be his date to the wedding. To his surprise, and the groups, she had said yes and gave him her number. And then there was Sheldon, who of course had Amy.

So it looked like he would be the only one there without someone on his arm. He leant back in his chair and huffed loudly, hoping to get Sheldon to realise he was upset about something. He really needed to talk to someone about what had just happened with Priya, and he had hoped that his friend would be having one of his better days when he would actually be able to read social cues. He wasn't. Sheldon merely shouted a "Quiet down back there!" Leonard should have known better, he looked over at his friend; he was at his desk, engrossed in a game of 'World of Warcraft' on his laptop. Leonard gave up in his search for attention, knowing that once Sheldon got into these games, it was almost impossible to pull him out. Leonard got up off of his chair and fell on to the couch, sprawling his body out over the length of it. "Get off my spot." Sheldon stated. Leonard frowned and looked up at Sheldon. He hadn't even turned away from his computer screen! _How the hell did he know!_ Leonard once again huffed loudly, before moving to the other end of the couch, he put his head on the arm rest, and bent his knee so that his feet stopped just before 'Sheldon's spot'.

Leonard took his glasses off and set them on the table, then massaged his forehead. His mind was going a mile a minute. He just couldn't understand why Priya suddenly couldn't come to the wedding. Only a few days ago she had been talking about how excited she was to return to Pasadena, and now, out of the blue, she had to work? It didn't make sense to him and he had questioned it, but she dismissed him, claiming there were complications in one of her cases and she just couldn't leave. Leonard accepted it, even though he still felt like something wasn't right, he didn't want to start fighting with her. The time they spent together talking was scarce because of the time difference, so he didn't want to waste that time fighting.

Leonard closed his eyes and began to relax a little, only to be disturbed by the sound of two people arguing, and then a loud bang as a door was slammed shut. Sheldon and Leonard looked at each other, confused. "Is that Penny?" Leonard asked. Sheldon simply shrugged, "Well, given that Penny's apartment is the one in closest proximity to ours, and her tendency to be rather hot-headed, the most probable conclusion is that yes, that is in fact, Penny." He answered and took out his earphones, plugged them into the laptop and continued with his game. Leonard shook his head, _typical. _

Leonard put on his glasses, stood up and headed to the peephole on the door. He saw Jimmy/James standing in front of Penny's front door, the door was closed and he was pleading with her to open it and talk to him. _Been there!_ Leonard thought to himself. He knew how stubborn and closed off she could be. He could remember countless times when they would argue, both when they were dating and when they weren't, and she would storm off, refusing to talk to him about her feelings. It was part of the reason they had broken up, she had the emotional maturity of a woman half her age. He had always found himself stepping on eggshells when he was with her, scared he would say something the wrong way and she would freak out and storm off, refusing to talk to him again for hours, sometimes days. And now she seemed to be doing it with this guy, but then maybe he was wrong, she did have a tendency to date complete jerks, so it wasn't hard to imagine that this guy was just as bad as the rest. He watched as the guy finally gave up and headed down the stairs. Leonard found himself smiling, as soon as he realised he had done it, he removed his smile and frowned. _What the hell? _He contemplated what that smile meant, being the kind of guy he was, he felt the need to analyse everything. He knew that Penny would be in her apartment, probably crying over the recent break-up, or what he was assuming was a break-up from the information he had. So that couldn't be why he was happy, he would never be happy so see her sad. The only thing he ever wanted for her in this life, was for her to be happy. Maybe it was just habit, he had spent so many years, peeking out his peephole, watching her and her latest date as they left her apartment, each time hoping that it would be the last time he saw the guy. And he would often find himself smiling, like he was now, when she would have a huge fight with one of them. The guy would storm off, leaving Leonard to go and comfort her, and Penny single, just as he had liked it! Maybe that's what it was, just an automatic reaction to what he had just seen, based on the way he used to feel about her. After all, he was in a relationship now, and he was happy in it, well except from the part about her being thousands of miles away. None the less, he loved Priya, so there was no way his happiness could still be due to the fact that Penny was newly single once again. It wouldn't make sense. Would it?

Leonard shook his head. _I HAVE to stop overthinking stuff! _Hethought about going over to see if Penny was okay, it _was_ what he would usually do in this situation, but he wasn't in the best of moods himself right now and he probably wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to listen to her complain about that guy. On the other hand, Leonard really felt like _he_ needed to talk to someone right now about his own problems, Sheldon already proving to be hopeless in that department, but then again maybe Penny wasn't the one that he should talk to about 'Priya stuff' either. He decided however, that he had best go over and make sure she was okay, to see if she needed someone to talk to, someone to comfort her and make her feel better, the last thing he wanted was for her to be upset all on her own. Even if it meant he had to put aside his own problems for a while.

His mind had been made up, so he headed straight over, not bothering to let his roommate know where he was going, he probably wouldn't even notice he was gone anyway! He walked over and knocked on her door, he heard her shout "GO AWAY JAMES!" _Oh so his name was James! _He thought before answering, "Um… Its Leonard, can I come in?" He heard her shuffle about inside her apartment, before opening her door. Her eyes were red, and she was sniffling, she had obviously been crying. Leonard's heart melted, he couldn't stand to see her cry. "What do you want?" She asked as she caught her breath.

"I heard some shouting… Just wanted to make sure you were alright." He said softly, she looked down at her feet, "Do you wanna talk?"

She hesitated at first, then nodded and let him in. He _was_ the only one she could really talk to about what had happened. Well, besides Bernadette, but she didn't want to burden her with her problems on the week of her wedding.

Leonard took a seat on her couch, while Penny grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine. "Oh, no, none for me thanks." He said as he shook his hands. "My head has been killing me and I'm afraid wine will make it worse."

"Aww," She whined, "Are you gonna make me drink on my own?" She pouted her bottom lip and done her best impression of puppy dog eyes as she could.

Leonard caved, "Oh alright then." She smiled and poured them both a drink. "So tell me, what happened with you and James?"

**Okay, sorry to end that so abruptly but I was nearing 2,000 words and I want to keep them the chapters, as best as I can, within the 1,000 word range. Chapter 2 is already written and so should be up soon enough. I hope you enjoyed it, and once again any comments you have to give are appreciated. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

Penny screwed up her face, "Ugh, the usual! It turns out I couldn't pick out a good guy, from an asshole even if they had it written on their forehead!" She took a big gulp of her wine, "But, if you want me to be more specific, he cheated on me. _Not only that_, but he was _stupid _enough to text her while I was sitting _right _beside him!" She said, her voice becoming high and squeaky.

Leonard shook his head and without thinking said, "Where do you _find_ these guys?" _Oops, _He thought, _she's bound to freak out at that comment. _He was about to take it back, but she looked up at him, shrugged her shoulders and burst into tears. Leonard instinctively pulled her towards him and held her. She put her head on his shoulder and cried. He told her the usual stuff; that everything would be okay and there were plenty of other guys out there for her. This didn't seem to help, in fact it seemed to make her worse, he decided to keep quiet and just hold her. After a few minutes she calmed down, and with a crackled voice said, "I'm sorry." She wiped away her tears, her head still resting on his shoulder.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, the guy was obviously an ass. He didn't deserve a girl like you."

She looked into his eyes and smiled, "You are so sweet." She quickly broke off the eye contact with him, the more she looked at him, the more she realised what a huge mistake she had made. She had let the best guy in her life go, and now he was with this beautiful, smart, successful woman, and where was she? She was back to dating low-life scumbags that couldn't give more than a shit about her. Why couldn't she just tell him how she felt? Why couldn't she just tell him that she didn't want any of those other guys that may be out there for her, she wanted _him_. She needed him to know, but she was afraid. She was afraid that she was too late and he would reject her, in favour of Priya. The woman that was everything she was not. Suddenly she realised that she would have to face Priya again soon, at the wedding, the wedding that she no longer had a date for. She would have to face the two of them together, while she was all alone. The thought of it crippled her, she had no idea how she was going to survive it. She surrendered to her tears, and once again cried into Leonards shoulder.

"Heyyy." Leonard said as he rubbed her arm, "What's up now?"

She sat up and waved her hands in front of her face. "He was my date to the weddiiiiing!" She wailed. "Now, I'm going to be all alone! I'll be the only one at the wedding without a date!" She sat back on the couch, put her feet up and wrapped her arms around her legs, burying her face in her thighs as she continued to cry.

Leonard turned to face her, putting his elbow on the back of the couch, resting his head on his hand. He put his free hand on her knee and softly shook it, making her turn her face up at him. "You're wrong there," he started. She furrowed her brow at him, not understanding what he was talking about. "You won't be the only one without a date, I don't have one either." He said sadly.

Penny sat up straight, _oh my god! Did they break up? _She thought to herself, secretly hoping that they had, and then cursing herself for making such a wish. She knew it would devastate Leonard if they had, he obviously cared a lot for her, and she would never wish any kind of sadness on him. "What do you mean? What about Priya?" She asked.

Leonard hesitated slightly, it could be awkward talking to his ex-girlfriend about problems with his current girlfriend, the only reason he had brought up the fact that he was going to the wedding alone, was to make Penny feel better. He couldn't deny, however, that he was the one who needed some comfort now. He felt like his girlfriend was keeping something from him and he needed some sort of reassurance, someone to tell him that he was reading too much into things and that he had to relax. Penny was still looking at him, searching for an answer on his face. "Priya isn't coming to the wedding anymore," Leonard turned so that he wasn't facing Penny anymore. He sat up straight and sat his hands in front of him. He looked down, picking at his fingernails as he spoke. "She has to stay in India to work, apparently there was some sort of complications with the case she is working on and she won't be able to come back to Pasadena for at least another two weeks."

She looked sympathetically at him, "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry." She gently placed her hand on top of his "I know how much you were looking forward to seeing her again."

Leonard looked down at their hands, _don't do it Leonard, _he said to himself, _don't overthink it, she is just trying to comfort you!_ He looked up at her again and continued, "You know, I'm not even that upset about her not coming… Well I am, but… It's just so sudden you know?" She looked at him curiously, urging him to go on. "A few days ago we were on Skype, and she was saying how much she was looking forward to coming back here for the wedding. She was talking about how excited she was to see me and her brother, and now what? Three days later she _suddenly_ can't come anymore?! Using her work as an excuse?"

"An excuse? What do you mean? Do you not believe her?" She asked, intrigued.

"No, it's not that I don't believe her… It's just… I dunno it's hard to explain."

"Give it a go anyway." She said encouragingly.

Leonard took a deep breath and organised his thoughts, figuring out the best way to put it. "I trust her, I do, but when we were talking today, she seemed different. You know how sometimes, when you know someone so well, you can tell when they are keeping something from you." Penny nodded and listened intently, "Well that's how I feel now, like she is keeping something from me. I _do _believe that she has to work, but I feel like she didn't try hard enough to get the time off. She could have brought in another lawyer to finish the case for her," He sighed deeply, looking down at his hand again, her hand was still placed gently on top of his. "I just felt like she was happy that this had come up so she would have a reason to postpone her trip, so that she wouldn't have to come to the wedding, and ultimately, wouldn't have to see me." He fought back tears as he said the last line.

"Oh, honey, I'm sure that's not the reason." Penny said, then panicked. _Honey? Crap! I haven't called him that since we were dating! Maybe he didn't notice… Oh who am I kidding this is Leonard! He notices everything! I'll just pretend it's not a big deal._

Leonard looked over at her, _honey? She hasn't called me that in a while… What does that mean? _He mentally shook his head, _stop, Leonard, you are doing it again. It was probably just a slip of the tongue, don't overthink it! _"Yeah… Maybe, I guess I won't really know until she comes back from India, and we can talk properly."

"Why wouldn't you just talk to her about it now?"

Leonard shrugged, "We don't get to talk much. Between the time difference and our jobs, we only really get about an hour each night, or morning, to talk, and I don't want to spend that hour arguing with her."

Penny smiled sweetly at him, he was such a good guy. She squeezed his hand and then bent over to grab her glass of wine that had barely been touched, and took a sip. "Well, looks like the both of us are dateless for the wedding then! Got to admit I'm glad I'm not the only one!" She said.

Leonard laughed, for the first time that day, and grabbed his glass of wine. "Me too!" He said as he raised his glass and they clinked them together. "Here's to being the only people in the wedding party without dates!"

"To a wedding that includes Sheldon Cooper, and Raj Koothrapalli! Not to mention _Howard Wolowitz_ is the one getting _married!_" Penny added with a giggle as they sipped on their wine. "I bet you never thought _that_ would happen!"

Leonard shrugged slightly then said, "Not necessarily, I have been dateless before, I think the real revelation here is that _you _are attending the wedding without a date!" He laughed.

She punched him lightly on the arm, pretending to be annoyed at his comment, and giggled. "You are right, that can't happen!" She thought for a second before smiling mischievously at him. "Well, you can just be my date for the evening!"

Leonard was a little taken aback by her comment, and the confusion mixed with shock, showed in his expression. "I'm still with Priya you know."

"Well duh!" Penny said, laughing. "Relax, all I expect from you is to keep me company while all the other happy couples are dancing… And maybe even get a few dances from you myself?" She said hopefully, fully expecting him to refuse her offer, he didn't dance and he made no secret of it.

Leonard frowned. "Hmm…" He said, "Counter proposal, I attend the wedding as your date and I keep you company while the other couples dance, but there is no obligation for _me_ to dance. I don't dance." He laughed as she shook her head.

"Okay, counter-counter proposal," She started, sitting up on the couch and crossing her legs in front of her. "We go the wedding together, keep each other company while the happy people dance, and you give me…" She thought hard for a second, "Three dances! One slow dance, and two upbeat ones!"

"No chance! You know what happens when I dance to fast songs! I pulled my groin doing the Hokey-Pokey with Amy remember?!" Penny burst out laughing and he continued, "I'll give you one dance" He offered, "But it has to be a slow dance, no jumping around!"

Penny took a drink of her wine, finishing off the glass and putting it back on the coffee table. "Two dances. Both slow ones. That is my final offer." She stated as she crossed her arms.

Leonard mulled it over for a second before answering. "Deal!"

Penny beamed and held her hand out to shake his, "Pleasure doing business with you Dr. Hoftstader." Leonard laughed and shook her hand.

**Once again thank you for your reviews so far, please continue to let me know how you are enjoying the story!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Leonaarrrdd!" Sheldon shouted as he nervously paced the front room, dressed in his tuxedo. "Hurry up! If we do not leave in precisely three minutes we will be late! We cannot be late Leonard!"

"Sheldon relax!" Leonard said as he returned from his bedroom, tying his tie as he walked. "We are not going to be late, the wedding doesn't start for another hour!"

"Yes, Leonard I know the schedule. I think what you are forgetting is that this is a Saturday, and the wedding begins at 3 o'clock." Leonard finished tying the tie and looked at his friend, waiting to see where he was going with this. Sheldon sighed, annoyed that he hadn't already understood what he was getting at. "Traffic, Leonard! If we were driving there at 5am, it would be a 22 minute drive, however considering it's a Saturday, a day when many people decide to go out, on day trips and what-have-you, and we will be driving in the afternoon, the roads are likely to be filled with cars! Turning our 22 minute drive into one of at _least_ 35 minutes!"

"Sheldon! It's only just after two! We have plenty of time to get there, even if there is traffic!" Leonard began to collect his car keys, his wallet and his wedding gift for the happy couple.

"Actually its 2:08, if we leave now we will get there at 2:43! And then when we get there, we still have to find Amy and Penny to walk down the aisle with them!" Sheldon threw his arms in the air dramatically, "This is a disaster, I told you we should have started getting dressed earlier! This is the Indiana Jones fiasco all over again!"

Leonard frowned at him, "Sheldon, stop it. We will get there in plenty of time! You know the girls, if anyone is going to be late for this wedding it's them!"

Sheldon began to argue, but found himself realising that he was right, not that he would admit that to him! If the past was any indication, the girls would be the ones late, not them. "Let's just go and get this over with." Leonard shook his head as he followed Sheldon out of the apartment.

The drive to the church was long. Sheldon continued to obsess over the fact that he thought they would be late, checking his watch every time they had to stop and informing Leonard of the extra minutes it was adding to their journey. Leonard tried to drive faster, but unsurprisingly, Sheldon wasn't happy about that either, saying he would rather be late to the wedding than 'pummelled against a tree at 62 miles per hour'. Leonard had to laugh; it was either that, or throw him out of the car. Sheldon was the craziest person he knew, he drove him right to the edge of his sanity, but somehow always managed to pull him back before he drove off. Leonard had learned to appreciate the little things with Sheldon. The small windows of progress that would show everyone that as crazy as he could be, he was trying to be a bit more 'normal', like the rest of them. Leonard always found himself feeling quite proud of his friend whenever he would understand sarcasm without someone pointing it out to him, or when he would read a social situation correctly and give the proper response. It seemed almost robotic, but he knew it was just how his mind worked and he had long since accepted his friend as he was, the good points, and the bad.

They arrived at the church at 2:45, turned out Sheldon was right about the traffic, and Sheldon being how he was, had complained about it for the last few minutes of the drive. The church was small and understated, but beautiful and elegant. There was a small crowd of people outside, they didn't recognise any of them, except from Howards mother, but she wasn't hard to miss. As they walked up to the front doors of the church, Howard appeared with Raj, the best man. Howard seemed nervous, but that was understandable, and Raj seemed a little tipsy. Leonard and Sheldon walked over to their friends and exchanged hellos. Howard was pacing and wringing his hands, he seemed to be in his own little world. Leonard decided not to bring him out of it yet and turned his attention to Raj. "Have you been drinking?"

Raj got immediately defensive. "Just a little! I had to! I'm the best man, how am I going to chat to all these people and make a speech if I can't even talk!"

Leonard smiled, "Okay just take it easy! You don't want your best man speech ending up like your one at the bachelor party! The last thing you wanna do today is piss off Bernadette!"

Raj widened his eyes in panic and then nodded in agreement. Howard was still quiet, which was unusual, Leonard touched him on the shoulder to get his attention. "You ok?"

Howard nodded and continued pacing, "Yeah, fine." He looked at his watch, "It's 2:50. She should be here by now, shouldn't she?"

Leonard let out a little laugh, "Relax Howard, she's on her way, she will be here soon." Leonard gave him a reassuring smile, but it didn't seem to help much. Sheldon was just about to cut into the conversation, probably to explain to Howard the whole traffic thing from earlier, but luckily for Howard, Leonard got a text from Penny, informing them that the bridal party was just a few minutes away. Raj and Howard informed the crowd of this news and everyone headed in to the church to get their seats. Leonard and Sheldon stood outside to wait. They had the responsibility of walking the bridesmaids down the aisle, Sheldon with Amy, and Leonard with Penny. A few minutes later they spotted the limo in the distance. Leonard got some nerves of his own at that moment, he had no idea why, it made no sense for him to be nervous; he wasn't the one getting married. And yet, the nerves persisted, tying knots in his stomach as the limo drew closer. The guys walked down to the road as the limo pulled up, ready to greet the women and escort them into the building. Amy was the first to step out of the limo, swooshing her hair from side to side and grinning from ear to ear, proudly showing off her dress, and her tiara that Sheldon had gotten her. It was funny to see Amy being so excited about such a girly thing, but Leonard guessed that was just how women reacted to weddings. Amy was an interesting character, just like Sheldon, a real anomaly. It had taken him a while to warm to her. Just like Sheldon, she had a habit of being rather condescending and arrogant, and sometimes just plain weird. But, again like Sheldon, Leonard and the gang had come to realise she was a genuinely sweet and harmless person. Well, harmless until you messed with one of her friends, in which case you would be likely to be attacked by some sort of drug addicted monkey! Her and Sheldon were pretty much perfect for each other, both weird and wonderful in their own unique ways. Leonard smiled as he watched her excitedly skip toward Sheldon and link their arms together. Sheldon squirmed a little at first, before relaxing, it had been explained to him that this was social protocol for a wedding and he was required to provide his date with appropriate intimacy and a dance at the reception. He reluctantly agreed, after much deliberation.

Penny was next out of the limo. She was wearing the same pink dress as Amy, but without the garment to cover her arms. His heart began to beat a little faster as he contemplated how beautiful she looked. He was used to Penny having this effect on him, even when he was dating someone else, like he was now, she always seemed to have a certain hold over him, and he doubted that it would ever leave.

Leonard smiled at her as she walked over to him, and linked their arms together, just as Amy had done with Sheldon. "Wait till you see Bernadette!" She said to him, "She looks stunning!"

Leonard smiled and looked toward the limo. Bernadettes mother was next to step out, followed by her father, who held out his hand to help Bernadette out of the car. The gang beamed as they watched their friend, in her beautiful white gown, head over to greet them. Every one of them complemented her on how beautiful she was, even Sheldon, giving Leonard another one of those proud moments. Bernadette took a deep breath and said, "Right! Let's get this show on the road!"


	4. Chapter 4

Leonard and Penny were the first ones to walk down the aisle. Leonard couldn't help but think how weird it was, that he was walking his ex-girlfriend down the aisle. He looked over at Penny, she didn't seem to be bothered by it, she just beamed her beautiful smile to the room of people staring at them as they walked slowly down the centre of the room. He faced forward once again and ginned. When they reached the end of the aisle, Leonard turned to her, gave her a kiss on the cheek and they went separate ways. Leonard sat down on the front bench beside Howards mother, while Penny stood at the right hand side waiting on Amy and Bernadette to join her. Amy and Sheldon were next, Amy was lapping up the attention from the wedding guests, while Sheldon looked noticeably uncomfortable, probably wishing that the day would just end. Leonard watched on as Sheldon hesitantly kissed Amy on the cheek before breaking apart and heading in the same direction as Leonard and Penny just had. Sheldon looked defeated as he sat down beside Leonard, Amy on the other hand, was ecstatic. Leonard laughed as he watched Penny try to calm her down, and get her to stand in position. Penny caught his eye and began to laugh a little too, then shook her head in disbelief, before laughing again. They broke their eye contact when the wedding march began to play. Everyone in the church stood up and watched as Bernadettes mother walked down the aisle, followed by the beautiful bride herself, accompanied by her father. Leonard looked briefly at Howard, he had turned around to watch Bernadette walking down the aisle and was grinning with excitement; he looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

The ceremony was beautiful, the bride and groom had written their own vows and had said some truly heartfelt and loving things about one another. Their words had brought each other and most of the wedding guests to tears, including Raj, who could be heard sobbing as Howard spoke the most beautiful words to his wife. _Who would have thought that this once creepy little guy could be so romantic!_ Leonard had managed to keep his own emotions in check, stopping his tears flowing at a lump in his throat. Sheldon managed only a smile, which was actually surprising. He hated weddings and would usually sit like an emotionless robot when he was forced to attend one, so it had to be assumed that his happiness stemmed from seeing his friends happy. Leonard glanced towards the two beautiful bridesmaids, both of whom seemed to be mesmerised by the happy couple, and were wiping away tears of their own.

Once the ceremony was over, the bride and groom, along with their parents, bridesmaids and groomsmen, were shown to the back of the church where they all had to get their photographs taken. Everyone was in high spirits as they posed for the photographer and before long they were shown to their cars again to head towards the reception, which was being held at a nearby hotel. Leonard had the responsibility to drive Sheldon, Raj and unfortunately Howards mother, who took up most of the backseat, making Raj's journey rather uncomfortable.

Within ten minutes they had arrived, much to Rajs relief. They entered the hotel and were shown to the function room. The room was fairly big, at the bottom of the room there was a stage where a band was playing. In front of the stage there was a small dancefloor, around it were round tables which had white tablecloths and seat covers. The chairs had pink ribbon around the backrest, the same colour as the bridesmaids dresses, and there was pink and white roses at the centre of each table. They stood at the door for a second, trying to locate their friends. It wasn't long before they spotted Penny waving her hand in the air, motioning for them to join her and Amy. They walked over and sat in their designated seats, Leonard sat to the left of Penny, beside him was Sheldon, then Amy, then a space for Rajs date, who had yet to arrive, beside that was Rajs seat. Howard and Bernadette also had their seats at the table, in between Raj and Penny.

The group chatted for a while, discussing how beautiful the ceremony was and how happy they were for the couple. Then suddenly Raj stood up, "Oh my god! She's here!" They all turned and watched as Raj walked over to the entrance and began talking to a woman, presumably his date, Sophia. He walked her back to the table and they all introduced themselves.

"It's so lovely to meet you all!" Sophia said as she sat down in her seat that Raj, ever the gentleman, held out for her. She looked up at Raj and smiled as he sat back in his seat beside her. "Thank you. Oh my god, look at this place! It looks so pretty! I _love_ weddings! I can't wait to see the bride and groom!" She gasped, "How was the ceremony? I bet it was beautiful, was it beautiful?" Leonard looked at Penny in shock, she had spoken so fast that he barely understood what she said. Penny simply smiled and answered her questions.

A few minutes later the band announced the arrival of 'Mr & Mrs Wolowitz'. Everyone in the room stood up, clapped and cheered at their arrival. They sat at the table amongst their friends and dinner was served.

Once they had feasted, it was time for the speeches. Bernadettes father was the first to stand up and speak. He told some lovely stories about Bernadette as a child and had even managed some nice words about Howard. He finished his speech and everyone took a sip of their drinks. Raj was next up. He seemed nervous at first, but soon relaxed, he also didn't seem too drunk which was good, Leonards earlier advice had obviously had its desired effect. He told some funny stories about the couple, none of which involved anything embarrassing for Howard, thankfully. He ended the speech with some lovely words, wishing them a lifetime filled with happiness and joy. Leonard couldn't help but think how nice it would have been to have Priya here so see her brothers speech. That was the first, and last time, Priya entered his mind that day.

As the night went on, and the drink flowed, the dance floor filled up. Couples danced, as the band played. Leonard and Penny had been left at the table alone; the other three couples had taken to the dance floor. They talked about the wedding as they watched in disbelief at Sheldon and Amy dancing. "Can you believe Raj's speech tonight? It was so _adorable_!" Penny said hitting Leonards arm as she spoke.

"I know, I can't believe he was able to do it, he doesn't even seem that drunk! Sophia seems really nice too, although she is probably a little too chatty for the likes of Sheldon!" He said with a giggle.

"Oh yeah she is the sweetest! I really hope her and Raj go out again, I think she would be good for him, pull him out of his shell a little."

At that moment Howard came over and sat beside them, looking pretty exhausted. He had spent most of the night mingling with the guests, and the rest of the time on the dance floor with Bernadette.

"How are you finding being a married man then, Howard?" Leonard asked.

"Tiring!" He answered. He looked towards the dance floor and nodded towards Raj and Sophia. "What do you think of Raj?"

Both Leonard and Penny looked a little confused at his question. "What do you mean?" Penny asked.

"Raj, he seems pretty normal, relaxed, not drunk at all right?"

"Well yeah, I guess he decided to be responsible and not drink too much." Leonard said still a little confused.

"He hasn't _been_ drinking!" Howard said, Penny and Leonards expressions stayed the same, _what the hell are you talking about? _Leonard thought to himself. "I decided to do a little experiment. I couldn't risk him getting too drunk at the wedding and making a fool of himself in front of everyone, including Sophia, but we needed him to be able to speak, for the speeches and for his poor date. Soooo, I gave him some beer…" Penny and Leonard looked at him expectantly, waiting for his point. "Except it wasn't beer, well not the alcoholic type anyway! I put some non-alcoholic beer into regular bottles and gave him a few, I also gave them to the bar staff and told them to only give him that! And it worked! Yay!"

The realisation finally hit the two of them, Raj had had no alcohol all day! The shock showed on their faces and Howard grinned triumphantly then headed back to his wife on the dance floor.

"Can you believe that!" Penny screeched. "It's unbelievable!"

Leonard laughed a little and then said, "Well I guess it's not _that _unbelievable," He began. "It's a typical placebo effect scenario. Rajs brain is receiving all the signals that what he is drinking is alcohol, therefore allowing him to do all the things he believes he can only do when he is drinking, like talk to women. But because there is actually no alcohol in his blood, he doesn't become the pain in the ass that he usually does when he is drinking!" Leonard giggled, and then continued. "I'm actually surprised we haven't tried it before." He looked at Penny, who was staring at him with a weird look in her eyes that he couldn't pinpoint. He became suddenly self-conscious and frowned. "What?"

Penny looked into his eyes and smiled. "Nothing…" She took her glass of wine and finished the last of the glass before grabbing Leonards hand and standing up. "Come on, I'd like to receive the first of my two dances!"

"As you wish!" Leonard said as he stood up and followed Penny. They reached the dance floor and Penny twirled around so she was facing Leonard. She put a hand on his chest and the other around his neck, while he rested his hands on her waist. They slowly moved to the music and Penny put her head against his shoulder. As Leonard danced, he spotted Sheldon and Amy a few feet away, still dancing.

"I can't believe he never told me he could dance!" He felt Penny giggle against him, "I wonder what else he is hiding from me… Maybe his mother never had him tested and he really is crazy!"

Penny looked up at Leonard, still giggling. "What I can't believe is that he is _still_ dancing with her! We told him he only had to dance with her once! I bet Amy can't believe her luck!"

"I think he likes it, he seems like he does." Leonard said and Penny smiled up at him again, giving him that same expression from earlier, he frowned once again and she put her head against his shoulder.

"You looked very handsome today by the way. You look cute in a suit." She said grinning up at him.

Leonard tilted his head and smiled at her. "Aw, thank you! You looked beautiful today too, but then again, you always do."


	5. Chapter 5

Penny smiled into his shoulder when she heard those words. She felt him rest his head against hers as they swayed together to the soothing tones of the jazz band. It was the closest they had been for over a year, and yet it felt like they had never been apart. She could feel him tighten his grip on her waist pulling her closer to him, she closed her eyes and let the moment sink into her bones. She had missed this, she had missed him. Over the past few months, she hadn't seen him as much as she usually would, so it felt great to have him here with her now, all to herself. The room felt empty as they danced together, she could hear nothing but the music and Leonards soft breathing against her neck. If she had it her way, the dance would never end. And to her surprise, Leonard didn't pull away from her as soon as the music changed, he continued to hold her, and so they continued to dance.

A few minutes later, the song changed again, this time the music was a bit more up-tempo. Penny pulled back and smiled widely at Leonard. She didn't need to say anything, he knew what she wanted. He shook his head, "No way Penny, I told you I don't dance to fast songs! We had an agreement!"

"Leonaaaarrrd!" Penny whined, "Come on! It'll be fun, look I'll help you!" She stepped back and held his hand up as she twirled underneath it. Leonard refused to move.

"But we shook on it!" He moaned.

"Oh come on! If Sheldon can do it then so can you!" She smiled at him and shook her hips, but stood up straight again and hit her foot off of the floor, when he still didn't move. "Stop being such a baby! I tell you what, if you pull your groin again, ill fetch Amy to get you a suitable ice pack to rest your penis on!" Penny said before breaking into a fit of giggles. Leonard shook his head, with a smile on his face as he put a hand to his forehead.

"Okay," He said reluctantly, "But just one!"

Pennys eyes lit up and she screeched with excitement.

Leonard took a while to get into the swing of the song, he constantly looked at his feet, concentrating hard on not tripping over his own foot or standing on Pennys. By the time he got into the rhythm of the song, it had finished. He was surprisingly disappointed, it had taken him so long and so much effort to get the hang of it, that he felt like if he were to stop now it would of been a waste of time trying in the first place.

Penny saw the look in his face and decided to take advantage of it, "One more?" She asked hopefully, and was delighted when he nodded and started to move to the music again. This time, he was much more comfortable and seemed to enjoy it, they swung their hips together and Penny twirled under him. At one point, after she had twirled underneath him, he pulled her towards him and held on to her lower back, their faces were inches apart and at that moment she thought he was going to kiss her, she _hoped _he would. But he didn't, disappointment hit her like a bus, but she didn't let it show, and then within a second the moment was over and he continued to dance.

All too quickly, the song ended again. Penny didn't want to push him for another dance, as much as she would love to prolong their time together, she knew she had already gotten more out of him than he had been willing to give. So, they reluctantly broke apart and headed back to their seats.

Penny and Leonard spent most of the rest of their night together at the table, having the best time just laughing and talking together as they observed their friends, who would briefly stop at the table, usually for refreshments before they headed out to dance again. Raj and Sophia still seemed to be having a good time together, which meant that Raj was still drinking his special non- alcoholic, alcoholic beer, so hadn't turned into 'drunk Raj' who was hard to tolerate. They had barely seen Howard and Bernadette, but that was understandable considering it was their wedding. The real surprise of the night though, was how little they had seen of Sheldon. Leonard had been fully prepared to spend most of the night trying to get Sheldon to quit moaning and enjoy himself, but it turned out he had managed to enjoy himself all on his own, well with the help of Amy. Leonard mentioned this to Penny, who immediately smiled, took a sip of her drink and while avoiding any eye contact with him said, "Yeah, it's _so _weird!"

Leonard looked at her and frowned, "What did you do?"

Penny opened her mouth pretending to be shocked, "Nothing!"

Leonard continued to glare at her, and she caved, "Ugh! Okay, I _may _have put a little something in his drink, you know to loosen him up a little!"

Leonard gasped, "You _drugged _him!?"

Penny glared at him, "Seriously? Of course I didn't _drug _him!" She hit him on the arm and laughed, "I just put a shot of vodka in his drink!" She grinned mischievously. "I only gave him one though, and look it worked!" She said as she pointed to Sheldon dancing.

Leonard laughed and agreed, "Okay, so it looks like, in order to get our friends to act a little more 'normal', we have to feed one with shots of vodka, while supplying the other with non-alcoholic, alcoholic beer!"

"Yeah, looks like it!" Giggled Penny.

About half an hour later, the newlyweds left the reception and headed to their hotel room, everyone cheered them as they left. After that, the room thinned out, most people left and the ones that were left were pretty drunk. Raj and Sophia came over the table and said goodbye, Raj was dropping her off at her home in a taxi, since he had been 'drinking', before heading home. They said their goodbyes and Leonard commented again to Penny on how sweet she was and she agreed. Sheldon and Amy were the next ones to re-join the table, Sheldon looked pretty exhausted.

"I saw some of your moves out there Sheldon! I thought you said you can't dance?!" Leonard said with a smile.

"I'll have you know that I _can _dance Leonard, I just _choose _not to, as it is something I don't enjoy doing!" Sheldon replied.

"You seemed to enjoy it tonight!"

"No… I didn't _enjoy_ it, I just… succumbed to the pressure of society's protocol to dance at weddings. There was absolutely no enjoyment in it Leonard! Peer pressure is what it was!" Sheldon defended.

"Yeah, sure it was!" Leonard replied, and then turned to Amy. "Are you having a good night Amy?"

"The best!" She said enthusiastically. "Come on Sheldon, let's go dance again!"

Leonard looked at Sheldon, he had a look of pain in his face that said he really didn't want to go and dance again, _that shot of vodka must have worn off then_! Leonard looked at his watch and realised it was just after eleven, he looked over at Penny, "I'm thinking it's about time to leave soon, it's getting pretty late, what do you think?" Sheldon heard his comment to Penny and agreed before she could reply.

"Yes, it is definitely time to go! Amy, collect your belongings, we are leaving."

Amy looked disappointed but agreed, before abruptly standing up and running towards the toilet to be sick, holding her hand at her mouth. Sheldon shook his head, "Why you people find the need to drink so much alcohol still eludes me! Penny this is all your fault!" Penny opened her mouth in shock, before deciding it wasn't worth the argument.

"You do realise that you have to look after her Sheldon?" Penny said, getting her revenge for his previous comment.

He looked at her in confusion. "And what makes you say that?"

"You are her date Sheldon! You have to take her home and make sure she is ok!"

"Oh noooo!" he said throwing his arms in the air and then looking down at his feet. "She's going to make me cuddle her again isn't she?" He said, looking up at them with worry.

Penny and Leonard struggled to stifle their giggles. "Maybe Sheldon, you might even have to put her to bed!" Penny said trying her hardest to freak him out. Sheldon looked terrified and Penny was satisfied.

Amy returned to the table, still looking pretty pale and they all left the party. Leonard, who had been elected the designated driver for the wedding, dropped Sheldon and Amy at Amys apartment. Amy practically dragged him out of the car, terrifying Sheldon once again. Leonard wished him luck and Penny told him to 'be safe' making him furrow his brow in confusion. Leonard laughed at the innocence of his poor friend and drove off.

When they entered their apartment building, Penny stopped at the bottom of the stairs and groaned. "What's up?" Leonard asked.

"Three flights of stairs Leonard, that's what's up!" Leonard looked at her as if to say 'so?' She moaned again and continued, "It's alright for you! _You_ haven't been walking around in heels all day!" Penny said as she bent down to take off her shoes.

"Oh come on, you must of done this a million times in heels after a night out!"

"Yeah Leonard, but it's easier when your drunk! You don't feel the pain so much! And anyway," She said as she leaned on Leonards shoulder for support, "Just because I've done it plenty of times, doesn't mean it gets any easier!"

Leonard put his arm around her waist to help her up the stairs, she had been drinking at the wedding, and so was a little bit tipsy, however she was definitely not drunk, drunk Penny would probably have bounced up the stairs!

They finally reached their floor and Penny sighed in relief, "Ahh… Home!" She said as she swung her heels and headed to her door. "I've missed you!"

Leonard smiled at her and headed to his own door, "Well, goodnight Penny."

Penny turned around to face him, her face dripping with disappointment. She wasn't ready for the night to be over, she was enjoying having Leonard to herself again. "It's still pretty early, do you wanna come in and have a drink?"

Leonard hesitated, out of tiredness mostly, the only thing that made him decide to join her was the obvious look of disappointment in her face when he had said goodnight. Plus, he hadn't been able to drink all night and the thought of some alcohol seemed very appealing! Not to mention he had had a great time with Penny tonight, the first one in a long time and the idea of spending even more time with her appealed to him greatly. He smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, alright then. What's the worst that could happen?" He said as he walked into her apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING! This is going to hit the M rating at some point during this chapter. **

"What do you want to drink?" Penny asked as she rifled through her drinks collection, "Wine, vodka, beer, schnapps, tequila…?"

Leonard giggled, "Tequila? Remember the last time we drank Tequila?!" He said as he sat down on the sofa.

Penny thought back and then laughed when the memory hit her, "Ah, yes! We made out, got into bed and then you said I was having sex with my father!" She smiled, "Yeah, let's just leave the tequila wayyyy back there!" She said as she pushed the tequila bottle to the very back of the top of her fridge.

"Good idea! I'll just have a beer please." He said and she handed him one out of the fridge. She poured herself a glass of wine and went to sit beside him on the sofa. She sighed as she relaxed into the seat. "God, it feels so good to be home! It was a great day and all, but it was just so _long!_" Leonard let out a soft laugh and agreed.

Suddenly, Penny jumped up and put her glass onto the table, "Be right back!" She said as she ran into her room. Leonard was slightly confused but didn't question her, deciding instead to lay his head back and relax.

Penny re-appeared a few minutes later, she had changed out of her dress and was wearing her pyjama shorts and t-shirt. Leonard couldn't help but glance at her long, smooth bare legs as she sat down.

"That's much better!" She said.

He smiled at her as she sipped from her drink. She turned her body so she was facing Leonard and put her feet up on the couch, resting them on him. This was something she had done many times when they would come home after a night out when they were dating, so it was something that had come very natural to her. She suddenly realised that they weren't dating anymore and he had a girlfriend, so she started to move her feet from him, apologising as she did so.

Leonard simply smiled and held her leg before she had completely removed it from him, "It's ok, I don't mind, rest your feet." There was no way she was going to argue, so she ginned back at him and rested her feet once again. "Can you believe they actually got married? Never in my life did I think Howard would be the first one of us to get married!" Leonard said as he gently massaged Pennys foot, something that again, would have been done without a thought only a year or so ago. His brain registered that this was probably something he shouldn't be doing, but he didn't stop. He had glanced over at Penny, her head was resting against the armrest, her eyes were closed and she had a slight smile on her face. He knew that she was enjoying it, so he continued to massage her; his constant need to make her happy, overpowering the niggling feeling in his brain that was telling him he should stop.

"I know, I can't believe that Bernadette actually _agreed_ to marry him!" She laughed, before letting out a contented, "Hmmm." Penny felt suddenly awkward when she realised she had done it. She opened her eyes and spoke to break her awkwardness, "So, out of curiosity, who _did_ you think would be married first?"

Leonard smiled and thought hard for a few seconds. "I don't know… to be honest I never really _thought _about it... I don't think I really thought any of us would even get a _girlfriend_, never mind get _married_!"

Penny tilted her head at him and said, "Aww! That's so sad!"

Leonard shrugged it off and continued to concentrate on her feet. Penny slid back down and rested her head on the armrest once again and closed her eyes. A few moments of comfortable silence passed before Penny spoke again, "Thank you Leonard."

"For what?"

"Hmm, you know…" She said opening her eyes to look into his, "Being my date tonight…" She said with a smile, "I've really enjoyed spending time with you again, just the two of us. I've missed you."

Leonard frowned slightly and was about to question how she could miss him when she sees him regularly, but it suddenly hit him that he felt exactly the same. He softened his frown and his mouth curled into a smile. "I've missed you too…" He stared into her tired green eyes, taking in all of her beauty. She had taken her make-up off when she had changed into her pyjamas and her hair had slightly fell from the up-do it was in earlier, strands of hair had fallen out of their clips and hung around her face. She was not the perfectly made up figure from earlier, and he knew that if she looked at herself in the mirror at that moment, she would moan about how much of a mess she looked. And yet, he looked at her now and couldn't think of anyone in the world who was more perfect than her. She was his Penny, and she was flawless.

He looked intently into her eyes, while he absentmindedly stroked her leg with the back of his hand. Pennys heart thumped against her chest as she focused on his warm touch. She saw a heat in his eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time, this was so wrong, but it felt so right. She knew that she should stop what was happening, but everything inside of her yearned for more, she couldn't bring herself to stop it.

Leonard traced his fingers up her thigh, not breaking the eye contact even for a second. She had put him into a trance that he couldn't break. He inched closer to her, locking his eyes onto her soft, supple lips. A niggling thought once again told him to stop, that this wasn't right, but he had no idea why. All he could see at that moment was her and her beauty; the rest of the world didn't exist. It was just the two of them, in her apartment, doing what came natural to the both of them. He leaned down on top of her and placed his lips on hers, and there it was; fireworks.

Penny had wrapped her arms around his neck as soon as he came close enough to her. She opened her mouth slightly, allowing him to stroke his tongue with hers. She ran her hands through his hair, holding his head in place as they kissed. She heard him moan into her mouth and smiled, she had forgotten how loud he could be, even when they were only kissing. She felt him move on top of her, re-arranging his body to fit onto hers. He held himself up above her, his arms outstretched at either side of her head. His left leg was between the back of the couch and her right leg, while his left had settled itself in between her, his thigh pushed hard against her groin. Her body burned for him, she needed him, all of him, and she needed him now. Their kisses became hungrier by the second and before she knew it she was straddling him on the other end of the sofa. She could feel him harden beneath her and she ground into him with her hips, he broke away from her and moaned loudly. She looked deep into his eyes and bit her lip seductively; his breathing became heavier by the second. Penny bent down and pressed her lips against his neck. She sucked and bit on him as she slowly moved her hands down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt as she moved down his body. She found herself unable to contain her own moans as she felt him move his hands up her bare thigh, and squeeze her cheeks under her shorts. He pushed her down onto him, and they both groaned as his hardness was pushed against her. She had had enough of this; she needed to feel _all_ of him. She began to undo the button and zip on his pants, and then she pulled her top off over her head and threw it to the side.

Leonard looked on as the girl of his dreams pulled her top off, revealing her bare breasts underneath. He sat up and took one of them in his mouth, licking and sucking at her nipple as she pulled at his hair and pushed herself against him. His need for her overtook his body and he stood up with her still straddling him. He held her up by the thighs as he walked to the bedroom, still with her breast in his mouth, and her moaning in his ear.

They fell onto the bed; Leonard hovered above her as she pulled her shorts and panties off. He stood up briefly to take his phone and wallet out of his pocket and place it on the bedside table along with his glasses. He pulled the rest of his clothes off and returned to her, planting soft and hard kisses all over her neck and chest. He felt Penny push her pelvis into his with a moan, she was pleading for him to enter her. He teased his tip around her entrance as he looked deep into her eyes. She reached up and kissed him hungrily, biting his lip as she did so. With one swift move he pushed himself inside her and she screamed his name. He thrust into her, over and over, for over 15 minutes, beads of sweat dripped down his body. Penny couldn't help but notice there was something different about him this time, he had a need, a lust, and a hunger for her that she had never felt in him before. Penny tightened her grip around him, "Oh shit… Penny!" He moaned as he pushed harder and harder into her. The sweet bliss of orgasm neared and their moans and yells got louder and louder.

"Yes, Leonard! YES!" Penny shouted over and over again as she came, and within a few seconds he did too, releasing weeks of sexual frustration into her. He stayed above her as they both came down from their high, trying hard to catch their breath. Leonard softly rubbed his nose against hers, "Oh… Penny…" He said softly.

She looked into his beautiful brown eyes as she caught her breath. There were so many things she wanted to say to him at that moment. She wanted to tell him everything she felt for him, everything she had always felt for him but had been too afraid to say. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, she just couldn't find the words. She was speechless. She reached up and cradled his jaw in her hand as she began to kiss him, "Hmmm?"

He closed his eyes and gently shook his head, still trying to catch his breath, "Nothing… Just… Wow…" He said before letting out a little giggle and lay down beside her. Penny grinned, slid under the covers and turned her body away from him, while Leonard just continued to lie there out of pure exhaustion. Penny turned her head back at him, took a hold of his hand and whined. He smirked, knowing that she wanted him to hold her. He slid under the covers with her and placed his naked body against hers, wrapping his arm around her stomach and nuzzling his nose into her hair. He traced and walked his fingertips along, and up her stomach and before long, they were sound asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Leonard and Penny lay, cuddled together in the blissful ignorance of sleep. They were both holding each other in the same way they had been when they fell asleep, but morning was fast approaching. The sun was slowly rising up, turning the sky into a dark shade of red and purple.

Leonard was pulled out of the unconsciousness of sleep by the feel of Penny slightly stirring beside him. He knew it was her. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, hadn't comprehended what had happened the night before, but he knew it was her. The green apple scent of her hair that awakened his senses every time he breathed in, mixed with the soft noises she made while she slept, made her unmistakeable. He knew it was her, yet his mind still didn't realise why that was wrong. It was like they were back to where they had been over a year ago. It was like them breaking up and him being with someone else was all a dream that he was finally waking up from. He held her tightly to him for a few more moments, before the harsh light of day awakened him fully and he had to face up to what he had done.

The sun shone through the curtains of Pennys window, making Leonard squirm as the light hit his eyes. He opened them and the first thing he saw was a wall of blonde hair. He reached up ran his fingers through a few strands and smiled. He was home again. He very carefully propped himself up on his elbow so he could look at her. She looked angelic, so innocent and beautiful, as she slowly breathed in and out with a hint of a smile on her face.

Leonard watched her for a few seconds before a wave of guilt hit him like a train. It all suddenly became very real. Everything that had happened in the past few hours came to the forefront of his mind, along with the image of Priya. _Oh my God. What have I done?_ Leonard turned and laid his head back on the pillow, all colour had drained from his face as he looked up to the ceiling in horror. This wasn't him, he didn't do things like this. He had a girlfriend, a good girlfriend who didn't deserve to be treated like this, to be cheated on. He felt sick and as his heart begin to thump furiously.

Then, almost as if someone was playing a cruel game on him, his phone buzzed on the table beside him, making him jump a little. He quickly put his glasses on and grabbed the phone off the table to stop the buzzing before it woke Penny. His heart sunk as he saw Priyas picture on the screen and he realised she was calling him. He thought about letting it ring out, but he knew Priya, and he knew she would just call again. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and answered the phone.

With a whisper he answered, "Hey."

"Hey. How are you? How was the wedding?" She said softly, with sadness dripped through her tone, but Leonard didn't notice.

He looked over at Penny, still sleeping silently beside him. "Yeah, it was good." He wasn't lying, he was just missing out a few details, but it didn't stop the hurt he felt in his heart.

"Good… I was just going to bed, but I wanted to call and let you know I will call again tomorrow, which I guess for you will be tonight." Leonard was listening to what she was saying, but he didn't really hear her. He just couldn't wait to get off the phone, and he hated that. "We need to talk, and I know you will probably be too tired to talk now."

"Yeah, okay. Ill call you tonight, about eight my time?"

"That sounds perfect. Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight." He said and he hung up his phone. He breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that the call was over. He allowed himself a second to wonder what she had meant when she said she wanted 'to talk', that was never good. But the moment passed and he was happy that during the call she hadn't grilled him any further about the wedding. He may have become a cheat, but he was still a horrible liar and he knew that if she had asked for more details, he probably would have told her everything, or she would have figured it out. At least this way he would have more time to figure out how he was going to tell her.

Leonard was sitting up on the bed resting his head against the headboard, when Penny rolled over. She was still sleeping deeply as she wrapped her hand around his waist and cuddled into him. There was second of joy amongst his pain. A second where he felt like everything was okay, it was like it was supposed to be. He wanted so bad to be the kind of guy who could snuggle down beside her and hold onto her until she woke. But he wasn't that kind of guy. He cared about her so much and it was those feelings for her that had made him do what he had done.

The second passed quickly though and before he knew it the panic was back. He began to think about Priya and how she was going to react to what he had done. He thought about Penny and how she was going to feel about the night before. His heart began pumping furiously against his chest. He knew he should have been able to control himself, he shouldn't have let what happened last night, happen, but he did. He went into her apartment when he should have gone home alone. He massaged her feet, stoked her leg and kissed her, completely dismissing the fact he had a girlfriend. _How could I of done this to her? _His breathing was rapid and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. He looked down at Penny and realised that she was the reason he was able to cheat on his girlfriend. She was the only girl in this world who could make him act completely out of character. The simplest thing like the touch of her hand would send his mind to another place where only she and him existed, no-one else. She could have him whenever she wanted him, he knew it and he wondered if she knew it too, and if she had done this just because she was lonely or if she really wanted him. He wondered if he had ruined his relationship with a woman he loved, just to be Pennys bootycall for the night.

Suddenly he found himself unable to breathe properly. He quickly got up off the bed and began hurriedly searching for his inhaler in the pile of clothes he had left on the floor. He quickly threw on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt before running out into the front room to check his tuxedo jacket. He was heaving as he tried to breathe and the frantic searching was only making it worse.

Penny had been abruptly woken when he had jumped out of the bed and saw him rummaging through his clothes on the floor. She had asked him if he was okay, but he hadn't replied and she wasn't even sure he had heard her. She put on her Nebraska t-shirt and quickly headed out to see what was going on.

"Leonard, are you ok?" There was no answer. "Leonard!? Is everything ok?" She said, this time a lot louder.

Leonard stopped what he was doing and turned to her. "Do I look like I'm okay!" He said angrily. "I think I'm having a panic attack Penny! I need my inhaler and I can't find it!"

"Oh." She said quietly, shocked a little by the anger in his voice. "Oh wait!" She said as she turned and ran back into her bedroom.

Leonard looked on in confusion for a moment then continued on his search, his breathing was getting worse and he didn't have the time to be wondering what on earth Penny was doing. Not more than a few seconds had passed when Penny re-appeared from her bedroom, triumphantly holding an inhaler in her hand.

"Here you go!" She said as she handed him the inhaler.

Leonard said nothing as he took the inhaler from her. He shook it a few times then began to take a few breaths from it.

"Maybe you should sit down." She said with concern. "Do you want me to get you some water or something?" Penny asked, trying her hardest to relax him.

Leonard however, was not ready to be relaxed. Far too many things were running through his mind and even although his breathing had calmed a little, he was still very much in a state of panic. He was not thinking clearly and all he felt was anger, guilt and panic. He noticed that Penny seemed relaxed and he didn't link that to the fact she was trying to keep him calm, he saw it as though she was quite happy with the situation that had arisen. She had gotten what she had wanted from him, without a care to the pain it was going to cause. That was how he saw it. "What the hell Penny!" His words made Penny jump, he saw this, but he was too wrapped up in his own anger to care. "How can you be so God damn calm about this?! Do you not realise what we have done!" Penny opened her mouth, but no words came out. "I just cheated on my girlfriend Penny! ME!" He said as he furiously pointed to himself. "I don't do stuff like this! I'm supposed to be the good guy who _doesn't_ cheat on his girlfriend and now look at me!" Penny didn't know what to say, she had never seen him this angry before and it scared her a little. "You did this to me! This is all your fault!" He shouted before sitting on the sofa and taking a few more breaths from his inhaler.

"What?! How is this all my fault?" Penny shouted, finding her voice again.

"Because! It's _you!_" He yelled back as he stood up again to face her. "You do this kind of stuff to me! You click your fingers and I jump and I _hate_ that! If it was anyone else I was with last night _this _wouldn't have happened! I wouldn't have cheated on Priya! But it wasn't any other girl, it was you!" He put a hand to his forehead and began to rub his temple. "Do you even care? What was this to you? A bit of fun? Like that time you came to my apartment drunk and just wanted to sleep with me? Is that what this was?"

Penny stood frozen on the spot, and then quickly snapped out of it. _How dare he try and put this all on me!_ "You know what Leonard? I think you are forgetting that there was two of us in that room last night! This wasn't just _my _fault, it was yours too! And anyway you are the one that's in a relationship, not ME!" She yelled back at him.

"_You_ are the one who wanted to be my date to the wedding! _You_ are the one who invited me in here last night, probably knowing EXACTLY what you wanted from it! Just like you always do! You are in your own little world and as long as you get what you want you couldn't give a shit about anything else! You don't care that last night turned me into someone that I don't want to be! You don't care that Priya is going to get hurt because of this! All _you_ care about is yourself!"

Penny felt tears well up in her eyes. None of what he was saying was true and it hurt her that he could think she would think that. She wanted to find her voice again and yell back at him, but it was gone. All she could do was shake her head and hope he realised what he was saying wasn't true. She hadn't expected the two of them to sleep together last night, she hadn't set out to get him into her bed. Last night had happened because the both of them wanted each other and all thoughts of the outside world had gone. She wanted to yell this back at him, but the words still wouldn't come. Part of her knew that he didn't really mean what he was saying, he was angry and that was blinding him to the facts, but it didn't make it any easier to hear.

But Leonard didn't notice the tears in Pennys eyes and the hurt that spread across her face. Penny watched, frozen in her spot as he collected his clothes and left her apartment, slamming the door behind him. She wanted to run out after him, calling his name, telling him she was sorry even though she really had nothing to be sorry for. But her body wouldn't move and her mouth wouldn't speak. She stood there, alone in her apartment, with tears flowing down her face.


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as Leonard shut the door behind him, he huffed loudly and leant against it. He was already regretting everything he had just said to Penny. He hadn't meant all of what he said, just parts of it. He genuinely felt like things wouldn't have gotten this far if it had been any woman, other than Penny that he was with last night. He knew that he would never have cheated on his girlfriend, with anyone other than her, but he also knew he had as much a part to play in this mess as she did. He had said all those other things out of anger. He didn't mean them but the anger got the better of him and all the angst he felt, from not only what had happened last night, but from everything that had happened with Penny, the break-up and the fact she had used him that one drunken night, finally spilled over and she had to take what came out.

Leonard turned around, resting his forehead on the door as he held on to the doorknob. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he willed himself to turn the knob and go back in and apologise. He knew she would be behind this door crying and the need inside of him to make her feel better almost overpowered every other feeling in his body. But he couldn't. He couldn't go back in there. He had done the most awful thing to Priya and he couldn't find it in himself to continue like he hadn't done anything. He couldn't go in there and make Penny feel better because it would be like a huge slap in the face to his relationship with Priya. The least he could do, after what he had done, was go home and wallow in self pity. He had to go home and figure out how he was going explain all of this to her, and the good thing about going home now, was that Sheldon would still be at Amys. He could go home now and not have to face a million questions from him about where he had been and what he was doing. He could go home now go to his room and think.

Leonard reluctantly removed his hand from the doorknob and turned to head to his own apartment. He was still only dressed in his boxers and t-shirt, the rest of his clothes were hanging from his right arm while he clutched his inhaler tightly. He slowly walked over to his door and was surprised to find that it wasn't locked. He looked in confusion at the doorknob, as if it was going to tell him why it wasn't locked, unsurprisingly it didn't answer. He opened the door, and much to his dismay he saw Sheldon, sitting at his desk. He took a few steps into the apartment and groaned when his eyes met Raj, sitting comfortably on the couch watching television. Both of the men gave him their full attention. Giving him a look of shock mixed with confusion as they stared at him in his underwear, clutching his clothes. Leonard slumped his shoulders and looked to the sky, _just give me a break would you?!_ He said to a deity he didn't even believe in but was almost sure was messing with him. When he looked back down to reality, the faces of his friends were still staring at him.

Sheldon was the first to speak. "Where have you been?" He asked with a scrunched up face.

"Um... I was..." _Shit!_ He had no excuse ready and there was no way he could tell the truth with Raj sitting there. He had to change the subject. "What are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Amy?" Leonard kept his focus on Sheldon, he knew Raj was staring at him and he couldn't face him. The clogs in Rajs mind were turning and no doubt he would figure out in a few seconds where Leonard had been.

Sheldon was a little taken back by the sudden change of subject, but went with it anyway. He sighed, "I did stay with Amy. I slept on her couch, despite her requests for us 'get jiggy' in her bedroom." He said with airquotes while rolling his eyes. Leonard stifled a laugh. "And due to the fact that her sofa is not of proportionate size to comfortably cradle me as I sleep, I woke up with excrutiating neck and back pain, and decided to go home. I tried calling you to come and pick me up but you didn't answer my calls. _Which_, may I add, defeats the very purpose of having a mobile phone in the first place!"

"You didn't call me!" Leonard protested as he took his phone out of his tuxedo jacket. "Oh, maybe you did." He said as he noticed the 5 missed calls sign on his screen. _I must of missed it amongst all the shouting._

Sheldon nodded and rolled his eyes. "So, I called Raj because Howard and Bernadette have left for their honeymoon and Amy was in no fit state to drive. You were not answering my calls and Penny..." Leonard spotted Rajs expression change at the mention of Pennys name. The 'penny' had finally dropped in his head. Leonard continued to avoid his glaring eyes as he looked intensly at Sheldon. "Well, Penny still has that check engine light flashing and I intend to stay out of her car as much as possible."

Raj got up off of the couch and furiously pointed at Leonard. "YOU WERE WITH PENNY?!"

Leonard stepped back in shock as his heart hit against his chest.

"DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER LAST NIGHT?" Leonard stayed silent. "ANSWER ME!"

_Oh crap. _"Um, Raj, please, calm down noth-"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! DID YOU CHEAT ON MY SISTER!"

"Raj, listen to me, nothing happened okay? I just stayed the night."

"YOU'RE LYING!" Leonard frowned.

"No i'm not!" He protested, but Raj didn't buy it.

"WHY WOULD YOU 'JUST' STAY THE NIGHT AT PENNYS WHEN YOU STAY RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL FROM HER?!"

_Crap, didn't think that through._ Leonard began to sweat and he could feel his breathing become strained again. He was being cornered and it was making him nervous.

"TELL ME LEONARD. WHAT HAPPENED?!" Raj was still shouting and had begun to furiously throw his hands around as he spoke.

Leonards brain began to pulse against his temple. He closed his eyes and rubbed them to try and take the pain away. "Raj, please will you calm down."

"NO!" Raj was not backing down, it was understandable, he was looking out for his sister, but Leonard was in no mood to be understanding. Anger began to build inside him once again as his friend continued to interrogate him. "TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. YOU SLEPT WITH HER DIDN'T YOU?!"

"YES!" Leonard shouted back. "YES! I slept with Penny okay! Happy now?" He couldn't quite believe he had just said it, but it was out now.

Rajs face filled with shock. "YOU BASTARD! NO IM NOT HAPPY! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen okay Raj?" Leonard had lowered his voice but his tone was still very much filled with anger. "It just happened. I'm not proud of myself, but you shouting at me isn't going to change a _damn thing_ so will you just stop!" Leonard heard the sound of the blender going in the kitchen and Sheldon making 'la-la' noises. Leonard knew he was getting uncomfortable with the shouting, but the noise only intensified Leonards headache, infuriating him even more.

"YOU DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO HAPPEN? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? HOW CAN YOU NOT MEAN TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE? I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS DUDE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS!"

"ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS? REALLY? YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DECIDE WHAT MAKES A MAN GOOD OR NOT?" Raj just looked at him, chest heaving with rage and face filled with confusion. "I THINK YOU ARE FORGETTING THAT YOU SLEPT WITH PENNY ONCE! DO YOU THINK THAT WAS YOU BEING 'ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS'? WHAT KIND OF GUY SLEEPS WITH THE EX-GIRLFRIEND OF ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS?!" Leonard took a breath. He hadn't expected that to come out of his mouth. His enraged state was bringing up all sorts of things he didn't realise he was still pissed off about. Things he had pushed way to the back of his mind in order to keep the peace instead of causing arguments, and now they were all coming to the surface.

Sheldon began to bang the counter with a wooden spoon, while he held his other hand to his ear. Leonard turned to Sheldon, "SHELDON! FOR GODS SAKE WILL YOU STOP ALL THAT GOD DAMN NOISE!"

Sheldon stopped everything he was doing at looked at Leonard, he was like a deer caught in headlights. He stood and stared for a second, before heading quickly for the door, slamming it behind him.

Raj was still standing looking at Leonard in shock. "WHAT ME AND PENNY DONE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!" He eventually shouted.

Leonard shook his head as body trembled with anger. "YOU KNOW WHAT RAJ? IT DOES! IT HAS THE SAME _BETRAYAL_ WRTTEN _ALL_ OVER IT!"

Raj stared at Leonard, unable to think of any words to defend himself with. He shook his head as he headed for the door, "You better talk to my sister, tell her what you have done, because if you don't, I will." He said with venom, before walking out, slamming the door behind him.

Leonard exhaled loudly as slumped onto the couch, letting his clothes fall beside him.

* * *

Penny was lying on her sofa with her face down in the pillow that she had been crying into ever since Leonard had left. She couldn't believe what had just happened, one minute she was sleeping in bed, with Leonard cuddling into her, the next, he was furiously shouting at her. She knew she should be angry right now after the way he had spoken to her, but she wasn't, she was sad, and hurt. She knew he didn't mean what he had said, she knew him well enough to know that as soon as he calmed down, he would realise what he had said and regret every word of it.

All she wanted was to have him back. She had been so confused over her feelings for him over the past few months, especially while he was with Priya, but last night clarified everything for her. Getting to spend almost the whole day with him, had made her realise just how much she had missed him, and how badly she wanted him back. The whole day had been fantastic and it was topped off with an even better evening, and that wasn't just because of the sex. Falling asleep, with his arms wrapped around her, his breath on her neck and his heart beating against her back, was the best part of that day and that was the moment when she realised she was in love with him and she wanted him back more than anything.

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny."

Penny groaned into her pillow, "GO AWAY SHELDON!" She yelled, but as ever, he was persistant.

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny."

"I SAID GO AWAY."

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock.* "Pen-"

Penny moaned and got up off of the sofa to open the door amidst his signature knocks, just to piss him off. "What do you want?" She said bluntly.

Sheldon frowned and finished off his knock. *Knock, knock, knock.* "Penny." Penny glared at him once he was done, and if looks could kill, Sheldon would be no more than a lifeless lump in front of her door. Sheldon, however, ignored the telling look on her face that should have told him she was in no mood to see him, and walked into her apartment.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Penny asked.

"Penny, I was wondering if it would be okay for me to stay here for a while." He was shifting his weight from side to side, obviously uncomfortable.

"Why?"

"Leonard and Raj are shouting and I can't be around shouting. The comic book store is shut because it's a Sunday, so I have nowhere else to go within walking distance." He answered as he faced the ground, looking, and sounding like a child.

Pennys heart melted. The weird maternal instinct that she had for this manchild took over, "Oh sweetie..." She said as she walked toward him and touched his arm gently. Sheldon, however, wasn't happy with the contact and frowned. "Sorry." She said with a smile as she removed her hand from him. "Okay, you can stay here for as long as you need to." Penny said sincerely. She was happy for him to stay, but she really wasn't in the mood to make any sort of converstaion with him, not that he would even want to talk to her anyway. "I'm going to go to my bed okay, make yourself at home, and if you need me just shout." Penny turned and began to head to her room but stopped when sheldon called her name.

"Penny?" She turned around and looked at him. "Are you upset?"

Penny forced a small smile as tears once again began to fill her eyes. She thought about lying, but she honestly didn't see the point. "Yeah, I am." She breathed in, trying to hold back her tears, then turned and headed to her room before Sheldon even had the chance to question her further.

* * *

Leonard was still sitting on his sofa, as his head ran through everything that had happened that day. It was only twelve o'clock, but the day had already been filled with more drama than he had ever experienced, and it was all his own fault. He had furiously yelled at his friends, when they didn't even deserve it. He couldn't even really remember everything that he had said to them all, it was like it wasn't him that had done the arguing, but someone else who was just using his body. _Maybe that's what an 'out of body' experience is like?_ He wondered why he had gotten so angry, it was so unlike him, usually he would keep calm in those types of situations. But then maybe that was the problem. He would always push down the anger that he felt, in order to keep everyone happy and not cause a scene. He had done it countless times with his mother, with Sheldon and even with Penny. Most recently though was when he had found out what had happened with Penny and Raj. He tried to not let it bother him and push it down with the rest of his anger, and he had thought he was succeeding, until today, and unluckily for Raj, he caught the brunt of that anger.

And then there was Penny, he thought about how he had furiously shouted at her this morning and he pictured her standing, open mouthed in shock as he yelled at her. He hated himself for giving her that look of confusion and sadness, he was usually the one making her feel better after someone had made her feel that way, not the one giving her the feeling in the first place. He wondered what Penny would be doing now, and what she thought about what had happened between them last night. The sad thing is, he had no idea how she felt. His actions had stopped them from talking about the night before and getting out their feelings about it, and he feared that he had ruined his chance to talk to her. She would, no doubt, be pissed off at him and the last thing she probably wanted to do now was talk to him.

Leonard knew that Penny was probably the last thing he should be thinking of. He should be thinking about Priya and what he was going to say to her, he should be sitting here regretting every action he had made after that wedding. But he wasn't, because he didn't regret it. The only regret he had was that it had happened when he was dating someone else, and the upset that it caused afterward, and that was something that Leonard hated. _Priya doesn't deserve this._ He cared about Priya and it hurt him that he could so easily hurt her. He had thought that he and Priya would last a long time, get married even. She was a great girl and had given him the kind of relationship he craved, a mature, loving one, where the feelings that he felt for her, were given back to him in return.

Leonard glanced over at his clothes, spilled across the sofa and the floor. He thought about getting up and going to his bed. He was exhausted from all of the fighting, and the late night, coupled with the early morning was taking it's toll, but something caught his eye. The inhaler. He was still clutching it tightly as he looked at it in confusion. He was certain that the inhaler he had taken to the wedding, was the one that he always used, and that one was silver, _this one_ was red. _I used to have a red inhaler, but I lost that one ages ago..._ Leonard frowned as he searched his mind for the last time he had the inhaler, but he couldn't remember. _Penny gave me this... Why would she have one of my inhalers? Maybe I left it at hers and she kept it. But why would she keep it? Why wouldn't she just return it to me when she found it? _Leonard thought hard and the only explantion he could think of, was that she wanted to keep it. She wanted to keep something of his. _What the hell does that mean?_ Leonard was beyond confused, but the thought that she had kept something of his, no matter what the reason, made his heart flutter. He made a promise to himself at that moment. He promised himself that, as soon as he had broken the news to Priya, he would go over to Penny and apologise for everything he had said, because as much as possibly losing Priya hurt him, the thought of losing Penny, was unbearable.


	9. Chapter 9

Leonard awoke with a start. He quickly put on his glasses and looked at the clock. It was 7:45. _Shit! I'm supposed to call Priya in fifteen minutes! _He jumped up out of his bed and hurriedly got changed. He had hoped to have some time to prepare properly before he had to call her. He wanted to sort out in his mind what he was going to say, basically to figure out how he was going to tell her that he was a cheat, but he had no time for that now though. He quickly headed out to the kitchen and grabbed some fruit to eat to settle his uneasy stomach a little, it didn't help much.

Leonard glanced around the room and realised that Sheldon wasn't there. He called his name, thinking he might have been in his room, and frowned when there was no answer. _Where is he? _Leonard knew Sheldon had a habit of leaving the apartment for a few hours when there was any sort of conflict between his friends, but he had never been gone for this long. He began to worry a little, scared that his naïve friend may have gotten himself into some sort of trouble. He took out his phone and was about to call him, when his phone began to buzz in his hand. It was Priya. Leonard felt sick to his stomach. He nervously answered the phone and they spoke for less than a minute, both of them deciding that it was better to talk on the laptop so they could talk to each other properly. Leonard took the laptop from his desk and sat on his chair. He took a few deep breaths before turning on his laptop, and waited a few nerve racking moments while the laptop started up and clicked on the icon for Skype. He hovered over the 'Call Priya' button, giving himself a few extra seconds to prepare for the drama that would no doubt unfold within the next few minutes. He clicked the button and waited for what seemed like an eternity for Priya to answer. Before long, her face filled his screen and they greeted each other half-heartedly. Seeing her face had brought to home the reality of what he had done. He dreaded the thought of telling her what he had done and hurting her, but he knew it was something he had to do. He may have somehow found it in him to cheat on her, but there was no way he would be able to continuously lie to her. He wasn't that guy.

Guilt washed over his body, drowning him. It smothered him so much, that he never even noticed the sadness and hurt that was already written all over her face.

* * *

Penny left her room and headed to the kitchen, she had spent most of the day in bed and her stomach was growling at her to eat. She spotted Sheldon, sitting in the spot that he had claimed as his own, watching Star Trek. She poured herself some cereal, unable and unwilling to make anything else. Penny looked around her apartment and realised something was different. She frowned when she realised what it was, "Sheldon, did you clean up in here?"

"Yes." He replied without turning his attention away from the television. "You told me to 'make myself at home'... My home is clean, so in order to 'make myself at home' here, I was left with no option but to clean up." He turned around to look at her. "You're welcome." He said and then turned back to the television.

Penny scoffed and shook her head. _I should have known. _She sat down on the sofa with her bowl in hand and began to eat. A few minutes later, Sheldons programme finished and he turned off the television to look at her.

"Are you still upset?"

Penny thought for a second. She honestly wasn't sure how she felt. The sadness she had felt before she went to sleep had started to turn into anger. The sleep had focused her mind and she realised that, even if she knew he hadn't really meant what he said, he still had no right to blame everything that had happened between them on her. But then maybe she was jumping to conclusions, maybe he really did blame her for what had happened. He obviously felt that Penny had purposely brought him into her apartment because she wanted to sleep with him, which wasn't true, she had just wanted to spend more time with him, she didn't know what it was going to lead to. Maybe he hated her because of what they had done, maybe he hated her because, in his mind, she had made him cheat on Priya; the woman he loved. She suddenly noticed that Sheldon was still staring at her, awaiting her response to his question. She gave him a small smile and said "No, I'm fine." Yes, it was a lie, but there was no way she was going to tell Sheldon all of her problems, and she was sure that he didn't want to hear them.

"Penny, you do realise that it is 8:35 in the evening."

Penny frowned. _He really comes out with the most random stuff._ "Yeah, so?"

"You are eating cereal… Cereal is for breakfast, which is to be eaten in the morning… It isn't morning."

"Yeah, but I'm just up, so it's _my _morning… Plus this is all I have to eat in my fridge so unless you wanna go buy me something, this is what I'm going to eat." Penny said with a glare.

Sheldon looked at her for a few seconds then stood up. "Okay well, enjoy your 'breakfast'." He said making air quotes, "I think it's about time I went home, it's getting late. Goodbye Penny."

"Bye Sheldon." Penny replied. She put her bowl on the coffee table and then lay down on her sofa. She wondered what Leonard was doing right now, if he had spoken to Priya yet and if he was still as angry at her as he was earlier. She contemplated going over to his apartment now to see how he was, but quickly decided against it. He could be in the middle of telling Pryia what had happened when she walked in and that wouldn't look good. She wondered how Priya would take the news and if she would leave Leonard, and then a twang of guilt hit her. She tried to brush it off, but it stuck to her. This wasn't her fault, she shouldn't be the one feeling guilty, and yet the guilt stayed with her.

* * *

Sheldon walked into his apartment and was greeted by the image of Leonard on his chair, glasses off and face to the sky. Leonard looked over at him and frowned. "Where were you?"

"I went to Pennys." Sheldon replied as he headed over to sit in his spot.

"Oh…" He said, looking at the floor. He wanted to ask how she was, if she was still upset or if her hurt had yet turned into anger, as no doubt it would. He decided not to bother asking. Even if Sheldon had noticed whether she was upset or not, he most definitely wouldn't know much more than that. "Priya and I broke up." He said in a dry tone. He didn't sound sad, he didn't sound happy. He had become the emotionless robot that his friend was. He felt blank.

Sheldon looked around for a second and then huffed, shaking his head. "I'll get you ipod with the Emo songs on it, then i'll make tea." He said standing up from his spot. Leonard was surprised. Sheldon had just offered to do something that he thought would make someone else feel better. It was a really nice gesture, especially coming from Sheldon, but that wasn't what he needed right now.

"No, Sheldon."

Sheldon stopped and looked confusedly at him. "Coffee?"

Leonard shook his head, "No. I really just need someone to talk to right now."

"Oh..." Sheldon said, "And you want that someone to be me?" Sheldon asked, hoping that the answer would be no. Leonard nodded and Sheldon reluctantly sat back down again. Leonard looked on as Sheldon searched his mind for an appropriate way to continue the conversation. Leonard almost interrupted his thought process, but he changed his mind deciding he wanted to see what Sheldon came up with. After a few minutes Sheldon finally spoke. "Did Priya dump you because you committed adultery with Penny?"

Leonard huffed and hung his head. _Is t__hat the best you can do crazy man!_ "No."

Sheldon looked up at Leonard in shock. "But you said you broke up."

"We did." Leonard said. "But she didn't dump me. She was having an affair with her ex-boyfriend. Apparently it has been going on since just after she moved back to India." Leonard looked up from the floor, "That's like two months Sheldon. For two months she has been lying to me." He sat back in his chair. "How the hell did this happen? How did we even get to this point? We were in love... I thought I was going to marry her one day... I'm such an idiot." Leonards voice was quiet and he shook his head slowly. He glanced at Sheldon. He couldn't read his expression and it made him wonder if he was even listening to him. _It's like talking to a pet, he listens but gives nothing back. He's probably not even listening… Basically I'm talking to a brick wall. _Leonard decided he didn't care if Sheldon was listening or not, he needed to get everything that had just happened out of his head and out in the open. "I told her I slept with Penny last night and she wasn't even surprised. I don't even know if she cared. How on earth can two people go from being in love with each other, to cheating on one another and not even care?" Leonard covered his face with his hands and sighed. A few moments of quiet passed before he spoke again, "You know what's weird? I don't feel upset. I'm not sad that we broke up… I'm not angry. I'm a little hurt and surprised that she could lie to me for so long, but that's all. That's not normal right?" He looked at his friend, "Ugh, what am I asking you for? How the hell would you know what is normal!"

"Leonard," Sheldon said, sounding obviously exasperated. "You say that you and Priya were in love. Are you sure?"

Leonard was shocked, he had honestly thought he wasn't listening to what he was saying. He looked at him in confusion, "What? Yes, we were. Of course we were! Why do you ask?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, although I very much doubt that I am, is it not true that a part of being 'in love' with someone is that you would never want to hurt them and that you would do anything to stop them being hurt, by you, or anyone else? Does it not mean that you would do anything to have that person in your life forever, never wanting to spend a day away from them?"

Leonard was speechless. Sheldon just continued to look at him expectantly. "Um… Yeah, I guess so."

"Well then, if you were in fact 'in love' with Priya, you wouldn't have slept with Penny, because you would have known it would hurt her and she would have left you. And if you _were _in love with Priya, you wouldn't have wanted to hurt her or to risk losing her."

Leonard shook his head, "Sheldon, no, it wasn't like that. It all happened so fast with Penny, I barely had time to even think about Priya." Even as he said it he realised Sheldons point. It was hardly a good sign that he forgot about his girlfriend while he was with his ex.

"That's no excuse. Even if you didn't think about her, you still would have known it was going to hurt her. Something in your sub-conscious would have told you that it was wrong, yet you continued, knowing that it was going to upset your girlfriend. And Priya knew the same thing when she was having her affair. So I have to conclude that, despite your protests, you and Priya were not in love with each other."

Leonard was shell-shocked. _Where the hell did that come from! Since when did Sheldon know anything about love!_

"Tell me this," Sheldon continued. "You claim that you were once in love with Penny. Were the feelings you had for Priya similar to those you had for Penny?" Sheldon looked intently at Leonard as he awaited his response.

"Sheldon, those two relationships were completely different!" Leonard protested.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then." Sheldon sighed. "Leonard, I have had a very long and stressful day. First of all," He said, holding one finger in the air. "due to you and Pennys insistence that I must 'look after' Amy, I had to spend the night on a couch that was not fit for a man my size, resulting in me having back ache. Secondly," He held up a second finger. "I came home and barely had time to eat my breakfast before you came home and started some stupid argument with Raj, giving me no option but to leave and go to Pennys. Thirdly," He said holding up a thrid finger. "when I was in Pennys, I had to clean the _whole_ apartment in order to 'make myself at home' as she had requested. I got to spend a few _glorious_ hours watching Star Trek before being _forced_ to sit through Penny having breakfast _in the evening_! And then, to top it all off, I come home and I am forced to talk about your problems with Priya; a woman who you claim to be in love with, yet have no problem cheating on, a woman who also has no qualms about doing the same to you." Sheldon looked at Leonard and took a deep breath. "Leonard, even I can tell that what you had with Priya was nothing more than infatuation, and you mistook that infatuation for love. Probably due to your need to be in a loving relationship with a woman; problems that obviously stem from your somewhat distant relationship with your wonderful mother. I have no doubt that you _care_ about Priya, but I would bet that you are not in love with her, and I am not a betting man." Sheldon stood up from the couch and began to head to his room, stopping at the hallway to speak to Leonard once more. "I am exhausted so I am going to bed, but I will leave you with this;" Sheldon said, turning around to look at Leonard. "I have no doubt that you are not, and were never, in love with Priya, for the reasons I have just explained to you. But also because I believe that you are in love with Penny. In fact I don't believe that you ever fell out of love with her." And with that, Sheldon turned around and headed to his room, looking downbeat and exhausted. "Goodnight Leonard."

To say that Leonard was shocked, would be a huge understatement, and it wasn't so much about what he had said, but at the fact _he_ had said it. Sheldon... Talking about love as if he knew what it felt like."Wait a minute Sheldon!" Leonard shouted. Sheldon reluctantly stopped and turned around. "What the hell was that?"

"Really, Leonard? Do I have to explain that to you again?"

"No, no." He said shaking his head. "All that stuff you said about being in love... Where did that come from. I mean... Since when do you know anything about this kind of stuff."

Sheldon suddenly became quite sheepish and even a little flushed. "Oh you know... Books, television, movies, things of that nature." He answered before scurrying back down the hallway towards his bedroom.

Leonard was stunned. He had just been given a lesson in love by the one person in his life he wouldn't of expected it from, and he was right. That, in itself, wouldn't normally be so odd, but this time he was right about something that involved human emotion, and that was something that Leonard couldn't quite get his head around.Leonard tried hard to convince himself that maybe his friend was wrong, but he couldn't deny what he had been feeling the past few days. In fact, what he had been feeling for the past few weeks.

When Priya left for India, it gave him the chance to hang out with Penny again, properly, like they used to, before Priya put a stop to him seeing her. And slowly, without him even realising it, his feelings for Penny began to resurface, and as much as he tried to convince himself that he no longer had any strong feelings for her, she constantly proved him wrong. With a simple look or touch Penny would make him light up inside, but he would always tell himself it was nothing, that he was reading too much into things. He would convince himself that he saw Penny as nothing but a friend. And he believed it, up until the day she broke up with that guy, James. Up until the day that she had asked Leonard to be her 'date' for the wedding and he agreed. The day that she called him 'honey' for the first time since they had dated. It was then he realised he still felt something inside himself for her. That was the day he realised that he could no longer lie to himself. He wouldn't admit it, but he was happy that that guy had cheated on her, because that meant he still had a chance with her. It meant that he could go over and hold her and make her feel better. It meant that while he comforted her, she would be his again, if only for a few minutes. The more he thought about it, the more he realised that from that day onwards, his relationship with Priya was doomed.

Sheldon was right, what he felt for Penny and what he felt for Priya were two completely different things. Penny would always come first, but it didn't really matter now. He had handled himself horribly this morning and there was no doubt in his mind that Penny wouldn't be forgiving him anytime soon. And even if she did forgive him, he was certain that she wasn't in the same place as he was. He knew Penny cared for him, but not in the way he cared for her. He wished it could be easier. He wished that he could just go over to her apartment, tell her everything he felt, and hold her in his arms all night. But he didn't even understand what he felt. He wished that his mind wasn't so rattled and that he could focus properly. He needed to rest. He needed time to think over everything that had gone on. He needed time to properly absorb the fact that his relationship with Priya was over. And figure out what the hell he was going to do about these feelings that were bubbling up inside of him once again for that girl across the hall.


	10. Chapter 10

The next day, Leonard and Sheldon walked up the stairs together as Sheldon yattered away about what he had been working on that day. Leonard heard him talk but didn't bother giving his thoughts on what he was working on, because he knew that if he did, Sheldon would just dismiss whatever he said, and to tell the truth, he didn't really feel like talking much anyway. As they reached the second floor, they almost collided with Penny, who was rushing down the stairs, on her way to work.

Penny inhaled sharply and stopped in her tracks about a foot in front of them. _Damn. I should have known they would be coming home at this time. I should have left earlier. _Penny knew she would have to face Leonard at some point, but she had been caught completely off guard and immediately her defenses went up. Attack was her only form of defense. There was no way she was going to let him see that she was still hurting, and she most certainly wouldn't let him see the tears that caught in her throat.

Penny avoided Leonards eyes by looking at the floor and quietly said, "Hey," As she walked past them, not awaiting their response.

Leonard looked at Sheldon, somewhat dumbfounded, then turned and noticed that Penny had dissappeared. Instinctively he ran down after her, leaving Sheldon in the hallway. He had planned to go over to her place and apologise today, but she was ovbiously on her way to work and he had no idea when she would be back, so he knew he had to do it now. It probably wasn't the best time, but he didn't want to leave it any longer.

"Penny! Wait!" He shouted as he caught a glimpse of her before she descended the last flight of stairs.

_Oh crap!_ Penny thought. She had hoped he wouldn't follow her because she wasn't sure she could keep her tears from falling, but also because she really had to get to work. "Leonard, I need to get to work." She said as she kept on walking.

Leonard caught up to her and reached out to grab her wrist as she began to step down onto the stairs. "Please, Penny. I need to talk to you."

Penny found herself unable to walk any further. She wanted to know what he had to say, but part of her felt that this could end badly. She wasn't prepared to talk, and when she wasn't prepared, she fought. Hard. She knew her temper was a real weakness of hers, but she found it hard to control sometimes. She took a deep breath and turned around and stepped up into the hallway, telling herself that she was going to listen to what he had to say and she was going to accept whatever it was, and avoid any sort of arguments. "I think you did enough talking already, don't you?" The words were said with a horrible sharpness that she didn't fully intend.

Leonard sighed and hung his head. He wasn't surprised at her response, in fact he had expected it, but it was still disappointing. "Penny, I'm sorry."

Penny scoffed. "What for Leonard? For blaming all this mess on me? For implying that i'm some kind of slut who just uses you for sex? For being a complete ass?" She could feel herself becoming angrier by the second and had to take a few shaky breaths to calm down.

Leonard looked at her, and although her words were harsh and her tone was full of anger, her eyes were full of pain. He knew Penny was stubborn and wouldn't take his apology right away. He knew that she would yell at him, but that pain in her eyes told him that she was hurting too, and he just had to keep on trying until she caved. "Yeah... I'm so sorry for what I said to you yesterday, and if you know me even a little bit then you should know how much I regret it. I hurt you with what I said, I know I did. I made this mess, not you." Leonards voice began to crack a little, despite his attempts to stop it. "Please, Penny, don't hate me for this. I just lost one woman in my life, I can't lose you too."

Every shred of anger and bitterness that Penny had felt, disappeared with those last few words. She stopped herself from walking up to him and wrapping her arms around him, and she wasn't even sure why. Maybe because she was afraid if she held him, she wouldn't let go, or maybe because she knew if she hugged him, he would cry into her shoulder, sobbing over his lost love, and she wasn't sure she could quite deal with that right now. The most she could muster was a gentle stroke to his arm. "I don't hate you Leonard, and you certainly haven't lost me." She removed her hand and gave him a small smile, then blinked a few times to keep her tears from falling, "I better go or i'll be late for work... Bye." Penny turned around and quickly headed down the stairs, letting the tears finally fall.

* * *

Two weeks passed and things had begun to go back to normal, well as normal as they could. Howard and Bernadette had returned from their honeymoon and were every inch the happy newlyweds as they sat on the couch gushing about their amazing time in Hawaii. Leonard was in his chair, and altough he was excited to hear about their time away, he couldn't help but think over how much things had changed in the two long weeks that they had been away. They both knew what had happened between Leonard and Penny, and what consequently happened between Leonard and Priya. He wasn't quite sure how they knew, because he hadn't told them himself, but someone had told them all the details. Fortunately though, all that was said was a quick, "I'm sorry to hear about you and Priya," which was said with a sympathetic head tilt and returned with a "It's okay," from him.

Leonard had accepted what had happened with him and Priya and was beginning to move on. It hadn't taken long, giving evidence to Sheldons theory that they didn't care for each other as much as he had thought. Leonard hated to admit Sheldon was right, but he was. Priya and him were never going to work. The fact that she couldn't even admit to her parents that she was dating him should have been a huge clue at their incompatibility, coupled with the fact that she had tried to change him instead of accepting him for the little nerd that he was, and worse than all of that, she had tried to cut Penny out of his life. He couldn't see that at the time though. At the time, he was happy that he was in, what he thought, was a mature, loving relationship. A relationship where the love that was given, was given back in return. And although it turned out that it wasn't as loving as he had thought, it was more than he was used to and it was the one thing that Penny never gave him.

Leonard had apologised to Raj, swallowing his pride in an effort to get over the whole ordeal. Raj accepted his apology and in turn made his own. They had had quite the heartfelt conversation a few days after he and Priya broke up. Leonard went up to him while he was in his office at the university, as he hadn't come to the apartment since their argument, and apologised to him for the way he had acted, and for cheating on his sister. Raj graciously accepted it and let him know he had never meant to hurt him with what he had done with Penny. Leonard tried to tell him it was okay, but Raj could tell it bothered him and he wanted to try his hardest to let him know what had happened. Raj told him that they had both been sad and lonely that night and were both in great need of comfort, and because the people they would usually go to when they felt that way, Leonard and Howard, were otherwise occupied, they sought comfort in each other. He told him that the fact they were drinking far more than they should have been and in the end, they somehow ended up in the bedroom. Leonard looked physically uncomfortable at the mere thought of it and Raj decided at that point that he needed to tell him that nothing had actually happened. When he told him that they hadn't had sex, Leonard eased up a little. He was relieved, because even though Penny was not his girlfriend at the time, and she had every right to sleep with whomever she wanted, the thought of her and Raj together had always made his stomach turn, although he had tried his best not to let it show. And he had succeeded in his quest, until that day when his anger got the best of him and he blurted it all out. The relief he felt in knowing that Raj hadn't been with Penny in the way he thought he had, was immense. Raj hadn't been so close to her that he could feel her heart beating, he hadn't kissed her body and seen her in the final throws of passion. That pleasure was still one that only Leonard knew, well in their little group anyway. He thanked Raj for the explanation that he was so grateful to have and they left that room, friends once again.

The only relationship that was left to fix, was his and Pennys, but he knew that one would be the hardest to cure. Sure, they had been quite civil to each other ever since he had apologised, they would always say hello in the hallway and exchange small talk if they ever had to walk up the stairs together. She would sometimes come over to his apartment to have dinner and hang out, but not as often as she used to, and _only_ if Bernadette or Amy was there too. But things were not the same; there was a tension in the room that hadn't been present since they had first broken up. He hated it. He hated that in one night that brought them closer than they had been for a long time, had ripped them apart ever since. One evening of pure happiness was followed by a morning of stupid words said in anger that had divided them. Even although he had apologised, he still felt like she was distancing herself from him, and he wasn't sure why. She had pretty much accpeted his apology, and even although he knew she could be stubborn at times, she would never hold a grudge against him for this length of time. He couldn't help but think that maybe their relationship couldn't be repaired. Maybe what had happened that day was the straw that broke the camels back and they would never be able to be the same again. Leonard had thought many times about going over to her apartment and questioning her about why she was still being off with him, but each time he played it out in his mind, they would end up in a huge argument, and he feared that would tear them apart completely. He didn't want that to happen, it was better to be like this, friends, or barely friends, than nothing at all. He needed her in his life and if this was all he was going to get, he would take it. It was better than nothing.

The rest of the group could sense the tension between them when they were together, but they always tried to ease it by getting them involved in games or watching movies, something that would take the pressure off of them to talk to each other.

Today, Bernadette and Howard had brought over their wedding photos. They were giddy with excitement, and it spilled over onto the rest of the group, especially the girls, and Raj. Penny had come over shortly after they had arrived to look at the pictures too and sat beside them on the edge of the couch, distancing herself as much as possible from Leonard. It was a huge contrast to where she used to sit, on the arm of his chair or in a chair beside him. It hurt deeply that she was so physically and mentally, far away from him, but it was better than nothing.

The pictures were passed around and everyone looked in awe at the beautiful scenes that had been captured. It was quite nostalgic, even though it was only a couple of weeks ago, it felt like a lot longer. To him, it was the last time he had been truly happy. That day was so carefree and easy, compared to every day after it. The happiness of the day was written all over every ones faces, even Sheldons. They flicked through pictures of the ceremony, of the church and of the reception. It really was beautiful.

Within a few minutes a picture of him and Penny was passed down to him. They were standing very close together and she had her arms wrapped around him, the smiles on their faces summed up the happiness of that day. His heart jumped at the pure beauty of that picture, and his stomach fell at knowing what came to be. Leonard held on tightly to that photograph, reliving the moment that was captured in it and not wanting it to end. When he looked up he was met with a knowing look from Sheldon. It was like he was saying 'I told you, you still love her', without him even saying a word. Leonard glanced over at Penny, she was looking down and smiling at the photographs Bernadette was holding. He wondered what she had felt when she saw this picture. There was no doubt she had seen it, Bernadette had them all in her hand and was passing them down the couch to each person, ending at Raj who was sitting in a chair beside Leonard; where Penny would usually be. She had seen the beauty in this photograph and hadn't said a word about it.

Penny briefly looked away from the photographs Bernadette was holding and caught Leonards eye. Every time this had happened since that day, they both turned away immediately, but not this time. This time they held their stare, he searched her eyes for some sort of confirmation that she had felt something when she saw this photo, but he couldn't read her. He very rarely could. He looked down at the picture and back up to her, she hadn't taken her eyes off of him. She stared into his eyes for a second and then gave him a glimmer of a smile. It wasn't much, but it meant a lot to him. It told him that maybe there was still hope for the two of them, that maybe one day they would go back to being as close as they used to. But then again, maybe, as per usual, he was reading too much into things.

* * *

A while later, after all the photographs had been looked at, adored and scrutinized, the three girls headed over to Pennys apartment. Penny immediately poured some wine for the girls, ready to get all the details from Bernadette about her honeymoon. Penny sat on her sofa beside Bernadette and Amy was on the chair. They talked about the wonderfulness of her wedding day and she excitedly talked about her honeymoon. Penny was happy to get her mind well away from the darkness it had been in for the past couple of weeks, but inevitably the conversation spotlight was shining on her and the night she had spent with Leonard. She found herself fighting back her tears as her friends pushed her to tell them how she felt, and that was the last thing she wanted to talk about. She had always tried to avoid talking about her feelings, because they often scared her. They scared her now, more than ever, because the feelings she had for Leonard, were stronger than anything she had felt before, and it was terrifying.

"Come on Penny, talk to us." Bernadette urged.

There was no way she was getting out of it, they were being as stubborn as she usually was. She held on for a little while longer, telling them she didn't want to talk, but they persisted, and eventually she let her walls down, letting all her emotions pour out. "I love him." She said sadly.

Bernadette and Amy looked at each other in shock, not so much because she had said she loved him, but because she was finally admitting it. "If you love him then why are you being so weird with him?" Amy said, recieving a glare from both Bernadette and Penny.

"What do you mean?" Penny asked.

"Well you barely talk to him anymore, and when you do it's never anything meaningful, just regular small talk. You always sit as far away from him as you can and,"

"Yeah, alright Amy." Penny interuppted. She took a sip of her wine and then lay her head back on the sofa. "Im scared. I don't like having these feelings for him because I don't think he feels that way for me anymore. So I stopped being so close with him, because I was hoping that maybe that would help these feelings go away. I thought maybe if I stopped hanging out with him so much and stuff, that the feelings would die down."

"And?" Berndatte asked.

Penny shook her head slowly and a tear fell from her eyes. "They haven't. If anything, they have gotten stronger." She sobbed. "I love him, and I miss him... _So much."_

Bernadette scooted closer to Penny, put her arm around her and Penny rested her head on her friends shoulder. "So what are you going to do?" Berndatte asked.

"I don't know what to do."

"I have a suggestion." Amy chimed in. "Considering you have already tried ignoring your feelings, and that didn't help, why don't you try facing up to them? Why don't you try telling Leonard how you feel?"

Penny sat up wiped away her tears and sighed. "Because Amy... He doesn't love me anymore. He used to, then I dumped him and he fell in love with Priya."

"But you don't know that for sure." Amy replied

"Yes, I do."

"How do you know that?"

"Because, I just do!"

"Okay, but how?" Penny glared at Amy, but she didn't back down. "How can you know for sure that he isn't still in love with you, if you haven't even talked to him about it?"

Penny continued to glare at Amy, but she didn't say a word, because deep down she knew she was right.

"Penny, Amy is right." Bernadette said. "She may not be phrasing it in the best way, but she is right. You have to talk to Leonard about how you feel. For all you know he feels exactly the same about you."

Penny closed her eyes and once again lay her head against the sofa. "But what if I tell him I love him, and doesn't love me back?"

Bernadette and Amy looked at each other, then Bernadette turned to Penny and said, "That's a chance you've got to take."


	11. Chapter 11

Penny was alone in her apartment blankly staring ahead at the television as she obsessively thought and re-thought over everything that the girls had said to her yesterday. She knew she had to let Leonard know how she felt, despite her reservations. She was scared… No, she was terrified. She had never been one to talk about her feelings, to put her heart and soul out in the open. It would leave her incredibly vulnerable and open to be hurt and there was every chance that she could bare her soul to Leonard and he could tell her it was too little, too late. And he had every right to. She had hurt him when she broke up with him, hurt him bad, and she knew it. Who was she to expect that he would just go running back into her arms, just because she was finally ready to be with him properly? He could throw it back in her face, and by rights, he should. She didn't even know what she was going to say, or how she was going to start. She didn't have a clue how she was going to tell him how she felt, but she knew it was something she had to do. If she didn't, she risked him falling in love with someone else, like he had with Priya. And she was certain that, if he did, that woman wouldn't let him go as easily as Priya had, and she will have lost him forever. Leonard was a brilliant man, and she knew that she and Priya had been foolish to let him go so easily. He was incredibly smart, beautifully sweet, and surprisingly handsome. He would do absolutely anything to make the people he cared about happy. He was unique and different to every other man she had met in her life, in the best way possible. She hated herself for letting him slip out of her grasp. He had given her his heart, and she had taken it from him, and then threw it out the window. She hated herself for that.

A single tear fell from Pennys face as she remembered the day they broke up. She had broken his heart, without even meaning to. She had made a rash decision in a time of complete confusion and she regretted it deeply from the moment she had done it. But she told herself they would be better off with other people. She convinced herself that he would be better with someone who could give him everything she was too afraid to give.

Penny took a deep breath, swallowing her tears, and decided that she wouldn't be scared anymore. She had spent too much of her life being scared of her feelings, and now was the time to overcome that fear. The fear of commitment, the fear of being brutally hurt by someone she loved, it all had to be stared in the face and charged at. She had to take a risk. She had to risk being hurt, for the chance to spend the rest of her life with someone she loved. She would have to give her heart to him, like he had to her, giving him the power to break it in half, but hoping that he would never do it, like she had to him.

Pennys heart began to thump and her stomach churned with anticipation. She had to do it now, before she lost her nerve. She got up off her sofa and began to pace around the apartment, talking to herself to psych herself up. She thought through a little of what she was going to say, but then decided to stop because it was making her more nervous. She walked over to her apartment door and stopped. _This is it. I'm going to do it. _She nodded as she stared at the door, willing herself to take those last few steps out of her apartment and over to Leonards.

Then, *Knock, Knock*. The sound startled her. She was confused for a second, so completely lost in her own thoughts that she didn't recognise the sound of her own door knocking.

*Knock, Knock*. She jumped again, and then shook her head and answered the door.

Her jaw dropped when she saw the man standing a few feet from her.

"James?" She said as if she didn't know who he was. She stared at him, wondering if she was just imagining him standing there. If she had had a million guesses she would never have guessed it was him that had knocked on her door.

"Hey, Penny. Can I come in?"

Penny looked at him in shock. Everything in her told her to shut the door in his face, but before she knew it she was slowly stepping backwards, allowing him to come in.

* * *

Leonard was sitting at his desk looking at his laptop, watching the line on his word document flash as he tried to remember what he was going to write. He knew it was something to do with the experiment he had done at work, but he couldn't remember what had happened. He knew his notes were somewhere around the apartment, but he usually didn't need them. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. His mind hadn't been focused today at work, and that was probably why he could barely remember what had happened. Thoughts of Penny plagued him all day.

Being at work was usually the one place he could go and he would forget all of his troubles. He could focus his mind on an experiment and for those few hours he was free of any sort of stress brought up by life at home, but not this time. The events of the day before stayed glued to his mind. He thought about the look she had given him when he was holding their picture and if it had meant anything. He wondered how she felt when she saw the picture of them at the wedding, and how she felt about what had happened that night. He still had no idea how she felt about anything that had happened over the past few weeks. He thought after he had apologised, that she had forgiven him, but her distance told him otherwise. For the past few weeks he would think things were getting better between them, but they never did. Penny constantly confused him. He just never knew what was going on in her mind, and he was sick of it.

And then, for the first time since it happened, Leonard let his mind wander back to the night of the wedding, the night when everything seemed so easy and so natural, yet was so wrong. He remembered her telling him that she missed him, and in his mind he had agreed. He remembered her resting her feet on his legs, and how she had tried to move them but he wouldn't let her. He had liked having her so close to him again and feeling the touch of her body against his. He remembered her eyes, her big, beautiful green eyes and the passion and need that flooded them. He wondered if she had really missed him that night, if she felt what he had felt when they kissed, or if she was just horny. Maybe it was just like the other drunken night when she had come to his room and all she wanted from him was the sex, nothing more.

But he could have sworn he saw something in her that night, something more than just lust, but he didn't really know. He never knew. He always had to guess when it came to Penny and her feelings. He never knew. She would never let herself go, she would always hide her feelings from him and it was so frustrating. He wanted to know how she felt about him, he needed to know. He may not even be clear about his own feelings for her, but for once in his life, he wanted to know what she was thinking. He wanted to know where their friendship, or whatever it was, was standing. He decided that now was as good a time as ever.

Leonard put his glasses back on, shut down the laptop and headed out of his apartment and over to Pennys. He stopped when he reached her front door and took a deep breath. He thought about turning back. He was stressed and tired and he would no doubt say something that he didn't mean to say because of that. But he knew he couldn't turn back into his apartment because if he did, he would still be riddled with thoughts of her. He had to figure out what was going on between them, for his own sanity. Leonard summoned the courage and banged on her door.

Penny opened the door to Leonard and a slight look of panic covered her face. She hadn't expected him to show up, and now was definitely not a good time.

"Penny, we need to talk." Leonard said with a harshness that neither of them had been expecting.

Penny shook her head, "Leonard, now isn't a good time, can we talk later?" She pleaded. She had hoped he hadn't heard the desperation of it, but he had and he was confused. She seen him frown and angle his head so he could see in her apartment and his face fell as he saw James, standing at her kitchen counter. Leonard looked at her in disbelief. Penny felt sick. She had hoped he wouldn't see him because she knew what he would think. But it wasn't what it looked like, he had come over to apologise and she was in the middle of telling him to get lost.

Leonard didn't see it that way, he simply saw her ex in the apartment and he assumed they had gotten back together. He shook his head as he looked at her. How could he believe that this girl cared about him at all when she could take back a complete idiot like James? _How could she be back with a guy like him after what he had done to her?!_ Fury built up inside of him, fury and hurt.

Penny saw the hurt in his eyes. She couldn't believe this had happened. She spoke quickly, hoping that he wouldn't jump to conclusions and assume the worst. "It's not what it looks like." She said, immediately remembering that the last time she had said that, she had just come out of his room with Raj.

Leonard frowned at her, anger built up inside of him. He tried to contain it but failed miserably. "Really Penny? Because what it looks like, is you have gotten back together with another one of your dumb exes. Why am I even surprised?! You do this all the time! When are you going to realise that none of these assholes care one bit about you!" He shouted and then turned and walked off.

"No, Leonard wait, it's really not what it looks like!" She shouted back. Penny went to follow him downstairs, but quickly remembered that James was still in her apartment and she definitely wasn't leaving him there. She turned around and looked at James. He was still standing at the kitchen with a smug grin on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but Penny cut him off. "Get the fuck out of here!" She yelled. "I told you, we are done! I don't care what happened between you and your girlfriend, you mean absolutely nothing to me, now LEAVE!"

James smiled, "You are so cute when you're angry babe. Come on, calm down. We can work this out, we were good together." He said casually as he walked towards her. "You know we were. Just ignore that little nerd, he doesn't know what he's talking about. How about we head out, get something to eat then go dancing or something?"

Penny glared at him as he walked towards her. "Don't call me _babe_, I'm not you're _babe" _She spat.

"Damn, that little hobbit guy really got you riled up huh?" He laughed then took a hold of her hand and leaned in to kiss her.

Penny felt the fury inside her build. She clenched her fist, gathered all her strength and punched him straight in the jaw. She felt a slight stab on her knuckle as it hit one of his teeth, but the pain was gone within a few seconds as her adrenaline kicked in.

He was doubled over in shock and pain. "What the hell!" He shouted as he held his bloodied mouth.

"Don't come here ever again! We are done!" She said as she pushed him out of her apartment, "And by the way, that 'little hobbit guy' is twice the man you will ever be!" She yelled as she slammed the door in his face.

Penny stared at the door once again as she caught her breath. She searched her mind for what she should do next, as the adrenaline pumped through her body. She stood there for longer than she had thought. _Leonard! I need to find Leonard._ She quickly opened the door and headed over to his apartment, hoping that he had gone home. She barged into their apartment and shouted his name. Sheldon frowned at her.

"Leonard's not here."

"Where is he?!" She yelled.

Sheldon hadn't expected the anger and desperation in her voice. "I don't know."

Penny scoffed loudly, left their apartment and began to run frantically down the stairs, passing her blood stained ex as she ran. She knew he could be anywhere by now, but she hoped that he was on foot because maybe then she could catch up to him. There was no chance she would be able to find him if he had taken his car because by now he could be literally anywhere! _Well not anywhere. He has only been gone about five minutes so there's only so far he could have went, depending on how fast he was driving and how much traffic there is. _Penny stopped in her tracks, confused at her own thought process. She had never thought anything like that in her life. It was something one of the guys would say. She smiled a little as she realised just how much those guys had gotten into her head, without her even realising it. Quickly, she shook herself out of her little daydream and thought back to the problem at hand; she had to find Leonard. She ran down the last few steps and out into the street, searching for his car. Her heart sunk when she realised it was gone, and so was he.

Penny immediately ran back up the stairs, once again pushing past her ex as she ran. She passed her apartment and headed up to the roof. She didn't know what she was looking for when she got up there. She knew Leonard wouldn't be there, she had seen him head down the stairs, not up, and his car was gone so he was definitely not on the roof, but still she went up there. She told herself that maybe she would be able to see him or his car from the roof, but in reality she just had too much energy coursing through her body that she had to do something with. When she reached the top and he wasn't there, even though she knew that he wouldn't be, the disappointment stabbed at her chest and she had to stop herself from breaking down in tears.

Penny took a deep breath and ran back down the stairs. _Maybe he was home now._ She reached Leonards apartment once again and ran in the door. Sheldon was still sitting in his spot watching television and once again frowned at her when she walked in. "Is Leonard home yet?"

Sheldon huffed. "No."

Penny let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding and slowly walked out the apartment, closing the door behind her. She stood with her back against the door and slowly slid down, letting the tears fall with her. She sat on the floor with her back rested against the door and her legs stretched out in front of her and sobbed hysterically.

A few seconds passed and the door opened, making her fall to the floor as it moved. She looked up and saw Sheldon standing over her.

"Penny, why are you sitting out in the hallway?"

Penny growled, sat up and shuffled to sit with her back to the wall outside the door. "I'm waiting on Leonard coming home."

Sheldon looked at her for a second and then into his apartment. "Do you want to wait inside?"

Penny didn't speak, she simply shook her head. She didn't want to go inside. She was going to wait there so that she would see him the moment he returned. Sheldon eventually shrugged, and turned back into his apartment shutting the door behind him. Penny closed her eyes and cried, as she waited on Leonard to return.


	12. Chapter 12

Leonard had been driving aimlessly for at least an hour. He had no idea where he was going and was almost certain he was driving in circles, but he didn't care. He allowed his mind to wander as he drove, causing him to wait too long after the light had turned green at the traffic lights and he was sure he had run a few stop signs. Yet he didn't stop driving, he kept on going on his endless journey and before he knew it, he was near the beach. He had no idea how he had gotten there, or why. He parked his car and headed down onto the beach. Leonard lay down on the sand and looked up at the sky. It was a clear night, so the stars were shining brightly. _Penny would love it here._ Leonard closed his eyes and took a deep breath, breathing in the cold, fresh air. As he let out the air in his lungs, he let out a huge sigh that turned into more of a loud growl, letting out some of his frustration and anger. It felt good, but it wasn't enough. He was so angry and he didn't know how to release it. He couldn't fathom in his mind how one woman can drive him to such an extreme state of confusion. He loved her, but at the same time he hated her. He couldn't understand anything she done, yet he felt like he knew her better than anyone else. He found himself wanting to kiss her, while at the same time wanting to shake some sense into her. She was the only one who done it to him and it mystified him.

Leonard tried to understand her actions, to understand why on earth she would want to take back a guy like James. It made no sense to him, he would never take back Priya after she had cheated on him and he was sure Priya wouldn't take him back either. It genuinely hurt him to think that Penny would think so little of herself to want to be with a guy who could do that to her. He thought he should try and explain to her how stupid she was being, but he knew it would just come across that he didn't want her to be with anyone else. And maybe that was true, but it made no difference now. She obviously didn't feel anything for him anymore, and maybe he should just accept that. He should find it in himself to be happy for her, if she was happy. But that was the thing, she wasn't happy. She might pretend she is, but he knew that as long as she was with someone like James, she would never be truly happy. James was definitely not good enough for her. At some point, whether it was in a few days, or a few weeks, that man was going to hurt her again. He wondered how she could so easily give herself to those types of guys, yet she found it so hard to love a man like himself. He was someone who truly cared for her and would do basically anything for her, while those guys thought of her as nothing more than a piece of meat, yet she seemed to fall for them and their lies, time and time again. That was what he hated. He hated that she would constantly put herself in positions to be hurt by other men, yet would not give herself to him, when he would do anything to make sure she was never hurt again. But he couldn't force her to love him. He couldn't force her to feel something for him that she just didn't feel. Maybe what they had had together was all that they were ever going to have. Maybe he wasn't the type of guy she was looking for in her life and that was something he had to accept.

Leonard looked up at the beautiful sky as he continued to breathe in the fresh air. It was the first time in weeks he had spent more than a few minutes outside and the clean air was doing wonders to him. It was like it was cleansing his body of all the confusion and stress of the past week and suddenly everything became so clear. He loved Penny. It may have been obvious to everyone around him, but he had convinced himself that it wasn't true. He had pushed the emotions deep down into his heart because to bring them up again would no doubt cause more pain than his body could handle. He loved her so much, but it was too late. She had moved on. Leonards heart ached at the thought of never being with her again, at the thought of being her friend for the rest of his life instead of her lover. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was probably all he would get. He contemplated moving away, going somewhere far away from here where he could get over Penny properly. There really was no chance he would be able to fall out of love with her while she was still living across the hall to him, but he couldn't move away. His job was here as well as his friends. There was absolutely no way he could leave Sheldon and he knew that even if he wanted to, there was no way he would be able to leave Penny either. He could no longer imagine his life without her. She had bounced into his life more than four years ago and she had become his drug. A drug that he now needed to quit but could see absolutely no way of starting the process. He would have to move far away and not tell anyone where he was going to cut himself off of any supply of her. He would have to go cold turkey and maybe after a few months he would be clean of her, but he didn't want to. The highs he felt with her, even when they weren't a couple, outweighed the lows spectacularly.

So he would stay. He would continue to live across the hall from the woman he loved and he would be her friend. He would love her from afar. He will watch as she dates more men that are horrible for her and he will be her shoulder to cry on when it all goes wrong. And then one day, when she finds the right man, a man who is good enough for her, he will be happy for her. Like a good friend would be. And who knows, maybe he will even fall in love with someone else, someone who doesn't drive him crazy like Penny does, someone who he could love and would love him back. It was going to be hard, but he would do it, for her, because she deserved to be happy, even if he didn't get to be the one to make her happy.

A cold breeze shot across the beach, throwing sand at him as it passed. Leonard squirmed and sat up. He had to go home and face the music. He couldn't sit out here all night and avoid her; he needed to let her know that he would be there for her, no matter what.

Leonard got up and headed to his car and began his drive home. He put the radio on high to try and drown out anymore of his thoughts. He was done thinking for now, he just wanted to get home.

Before long he was at his apartment building. He slowly climbed the stairs as his mind once again wandered off. He wished that he had an off button, something he could press that would make his mind stop working for a while so he could be blissfully ignorant to everything going on around him. He looked at the floor and played with his keys as he walked, trying to find anything to keep his mind off of her and the fact that right now she was probably with _him._ The thought made him sick so he quickly turned his mind back to his keys, fiddling with them as he climbed the last few steps to his apartment.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he stopped playing with his keys and looked up and the sight of Penny, sitting at the wall beside his front door, met his eyes. Her head was resting against the wall and her eyes were closed, although he could barely see them due to her blonde hair that had fell over her face. Leonard smiled at the sight of her sleeping peacefully, but it quickly turned to a frown as he wondered why on earth she was sitting outside the door. He quietly put his key in his door and slowly opened it.

"Hello Leonard." Sheldon said as he popped his head in the door. Leonard immediately put a finger to his mouth to shush him.

"Why is Penny sleeping outside our door?" He whispered.

"She came here looking for you, twice. After the second time she sat out there and didn't move because she said she was waiting for you. I told her to come in and wait but she refused." Sheldon whispered back. "And you people say _I'm _the crazy one!"

"You are." Leonard stated before closing his apartment door and sitting down beside Penny. He pushed the hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. He tried not to think of all the reasons why she would be sitting out here waiting on him because he knew that he would just build himself up for disappointment. Instead he accepted that she was probably just worried about him and left it at that. There was no sense in overthinking things again, it always ended badly. He sat quietly beside her for a few moments, watching her sleep. It was something that he had loved doing when they were together, he would intently watch her as she dreamed and he cherished the few moments when he was able to do it now. He knew that he couldn't do this forever though. At some point he would have to wake her up. He watched her for a few more seconds, then put a hand to her shoulder, gently shaking it. "Penny." He said quietly. "Penny wake up." Nothing. Not even a stir. She was sound asleep. Leonard looked toward her apartment door and thought about just picking her up and putting her to bed, but decided against it. The movement would more than likely wake her up anyway so it would be pointless. He continued to lightly shake her arm and say her name, willing her to wake up, and after a few minutes, she finally opened her eyes to him.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Leonard said with a smile and she smiled back at him. He found it hard to believe that only an hour or so ago he was shouting at her, angry at her for taking back such a sorry excuse for a man. It still amazed him that she could make him forget all of her flaws with nothing but a smile.

"Leonard, I came looking for you, where did you go?" She asked with a croaked voice as she sat herself up properly.

Leonard watched her as she sat up and noticed her bruised and slightly bloodied fist. "Penny what happened to your hand?" He said with concern as he took her right hand in his own.

Penny frowned and looked down at her hand, she hadn't even noticed it had been bleeding. "Oh, um… I kind of punched James in the jaw…"

"What?" He said in disbelief. "Why?"

"He tried to kiss me." Penny saw the confusion in his face. She knew then that he had thought they were back together and she knew she had to correct him. "Leonard, I didn't get back with him." She tried her hardest to show him that she wasn't lying with her eyes, and she was sure it had worked because his frown softened. "I was on my way to come and see you when he turned up at my door. I told him to leave but he didn't and then you showed up an-" Penny had to stop herself, her voice had become high and squeaky and she knew she was about to start crying again.

Leonard knew she was getting upset and without thinking he squeezed her hand to comfort her, completely forgetting about her bruised knuckles. Penny breathed in sharply and winced at the pain. "Sorry." He said quickly and softened his grip. "You really need to clean this up." Penny nodded her agreement and he stood up and put out a hand to help her to her feet.

When they were standing face to face, Penny had a sudden urge to tell him everything she had wanted to tell him earlier. "Leonard, I… I need to… to tell you… you… I…" She stuttered and her voice cracked. She had so much to say to him but didn't know what to say first.

Leonard looked at her as tears filled up her eyes. "Sshh…" He said quietly. "How about we go into your apartment, clean this up," He motioned to her bruised hand, "and then we can talk, properly."

Penny nodded and led him into her apartment, scared but determined to finally tell him that she loved him.


	13. Chapter 13

As soon as they entered Pennys apartment, Leonard headed to her cupboards, looking for something to clean up her hand with. "Do you have a first aid box anywhere?"

"Um yeah, I'm pretty sure Sheldon put one in my bathroom." Leonard looked at her quizzically, and she continued. "After the 'bathtub incident', he put one in there for emergencies. Although I don't know how a first aid kit would help with a dislocated shoulder." She said with a hint of laughter. Leonard smiled and headed into the bathroom.

A minute later he returned with a green box in hand. He sat down on the sofa beside Penny, got out a few antibacterial wipes and began to gently wipe away the blood and hints of dirt from her wound. Penny watched him tenderly clean up her hand and found herself wincing in pain a few times because of the pressure being put on the bruises.

"Do you have any ice I can put on it to stop it swelling up?" Leonard asked when he was finished tending to her hand.

"I'm not sure, check the freezer."

Leonard stood up and headed over to the refrigerator. He opened the freezer and rummaged for a few seconds, before pulling out a blue ice pack. "You have ice packs?" He said in confusion.

"Ah, yeah. I forgot about those. Another one of the things Sheldon put in my apartment. Apparently i'm 'accident prone' and he thought ice packs would come in handy." She said with a shrug.

Leonard smiled, he was still a little confused, but couldn't help but be happy at the thought that Sheldon was looking out for her, he could be a sweet guy when he wanted to, it was just a shame that he rarely wanted to.

He walked back over to her and placed ice pack on her hand. She breathed in sharply at the shock of the cold feeling against her hand, then relaxed as she got used to it. "I still can't believe you actually punched him. I mean, I know that you punched Howard before, but that guy was huge!"

Penny shrugged, "He deserved it, he's an asshole." She replied and Leonard nodded in agreement. "And I punched Sheldon once too remember?" She added with a grin.

Leonard chuckled, "Oh yeah!"

Penny looked down at the ice pack on her hand, Leonard still had his hand on hers, keeping the pack in place. She looked up at him and thought about how wonderful he was. She loved how he always took care of her, even with all the crap that had happened between them lately, he was still there to help her mend when she was broken. He was too good for her and deep down she knew that she didn't deserve a guy as great as him.

Suddenly Penny realised that neither of them had spoken for a few minutes. The silence wasn't uncomfortable though, each of them were just waiting for the other one to start talking. Penny wanted to start it off, but she didn't know how, then suddenly he spoke.

"Penny, listen there's some things I ne-"

"No!" Penny said interrupting him. She didn't want him to begin. Penny had so much to get off her chest and she knew she had to do it first. He was always the one to bare his soul, now it was her turn. "Sorry Leonard, but I need to do this first. Please." Leonard seemed shocked but he agreed and let her continue. Penny shifted her weight on the sofa, so she was sitting sideways, facing Leonard. She put her legs up and crossed them in front of her, taking a deep breath to prepare herself before she continued. "Leonard, I have been such an idiot." Penny saw him about to protest, as he always did when she would say something to that effect, but with one look from her, he stopped. "Don't say it, I have." Penny looked down sheepishly. "I should never have let you go. You are incredible Leonard, in _so _many ways, I just…I just didn't really see how great you were before, you know?" Penny looked up at him shook her head, unhappy with what she had said. "No, that's not true, I _did _know how great you were I just, I don't know." Again she took a deep breath. Her head was muddled, she knew what she wanted to say but had trouble getting it out in the correct way. She wasn't used to being this open and it was definitely showing.

Leonard saw that she was struggling and he took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, urging her to continue. Penny smiled at him and sighed. "When you told me you loved me, I panicked. I had heard guys tell me they love me before, but it was different coming from you..." She spoke quietly, like a shy child. "You aren't the kind of guy who just says something like that, you said it because you _really_ meant it, and I saw what it meant to you... It was you telling me that I was the one you wanted to be with forever... It was marriage, and kids, and growing old together. It was never like that with anyone else, and it _terrified_ me. It shouldn't have but it did. Before I knew it, everything had snowballed and I was breaking up with you." Pennys voice began to crack, and Leonard looked on, stunned. Of all the ways he had imagined this conversation going earlier, this was not even on his radar. "But I regretted it Leonard, almost as soon as I had done it."

Leonard looked deeply into her eyes and didn't even think before he spoke. "Well if you regretted it, why didn't you tell me?"

Penny frowned. She hadn't expected to be asked questions. She had hoped that she could just talk and he would listen. She should have known better. Penny gently shook her head, "I… I don't know." She said sadly and Leonard let out a small frustrated sigh. He knew the openness and honesty from her wouldn't last long, but he had hoped it would have lasted a little longer than that and he was so disappointed.

Penny saw the disappointment in his face and realised that if she was going to get across how she felt, she had to keep on digging inside herself and be completely honest with him, she had screwed him over so many times, and now she had to make up for it. Penny looked down at their hands that were still joined as she spoke, "I guess I thought that, maybe you would be better off without me. I wasn't sure if I could love you like you loved me and I didn't want to string you along, and stop you from finding someone who was able to give you everything you wanted. It sucked, it really did, but I could handle it because we were still friends, you know? So I still kind of had you a little bit, like a part of you was still mine... I could still come over and have dinner with you guys and hang out at your place. It wasn't the same as when we were going out but it was something… It sounds so bad but… I even knew that if I wanted you, I could have you." Her voice had lowered, like she was ashamed of what she was saying. "Like that time I came home drunk and knocked on your door. I know I shouldn't have done it but it was like a force pulled me to you and I knew that you would open your door and let me in… The same thing happened when we went to that science conference thing." Penny sighed, knowing how terrible what she had just said sounded, and she desperately hoped that he didn't take it the wrong way. All she was trying to do was be completely honest with him. She closed her eyes for a second, and then looked up at him. He was staring at her with a slight frown on his face, like he was concentrating hard on what she was saying. She thought he was going to say something to her about what she had just told him, but he didn't, he stayed deadly silent, so she continued.

"You were still _my_ Leonard, even though we weren't dating, you were still across the hall. You were still there for me if I needed you, and that kind of made the whole break-up so much easier, and that's why I didn't tell you I regretted it... Because I thought that the friendship we had would be enough." She was looking dead into his eyes, trying to convey how she had felt at that moment. And then her gaze dropped back onto their locked hands. "And then Priya came along." Penny said with more hate than she had intended, which shocked Leonard a little. "She took you away from me." Her voice cracked and tears began to fall down her face. "And that was it, I couldn't come over to your place for dinner anymore, I couldn't hang out with you guys or knock on your door at 3am. It was like…" Penny looked up and thought hard about the best way to put her next sentence, "You know how they say, 'You don't know what you've got till it's gone'?" Tears dripped from her face and her voice became high and a little squeaky. "It was like that. You weren't gone at first, but then Priya came along and stole you. You were gone. You weren't mines anymore, you were hers. She took you and changed you. She gave you different clothes and took your cute little glasses off of you." She said with a small chuckle amidst her sobs, before the sadness covered her face again. "And then she stopped me from seeing you at all."

Leonard was still stunned. She was pouring her heart out to him in a way he had never seen her do before. He had no idea she had felt like this when he was with Priya, although a part of him sort of knew that she was a little jealous, he had no idea it went this deep. _If only she had told me sooner, things could have been so different_. It took everything in him to keep himself from wiping her tears away from her face and hold her tight. He wanted to speak up, give her a chance to catch her breath, but he knew that he shouldn't. She was finally letting go of everything she had held inside of her for so long and he couldn't stop her now. She was finally telling him how she felt and he couldn't stop her in case she went back inside her shell again.

Penny managed to stop the tears from falling before she became hysterical. She still had so much more to say and she didn't want to completely break down yet. She took a few more seconds to compose herself, then spoke up again. "Those months were torture Leonard. I tried to be nice to her, but I couldn't help but hate her for taking you away. I know it was selfish of me, I didn't want to commit to you but I didn't want anyone else to either."

Those few words felt like a stab to Leonards heart, she didn't want to commit to him. She cared for him but not enough to want to be with him forever, Leonard lowered his head and tried his hardest not to cry.

"Everything changed when she left though. Suddenly she was gone and we went back to being friends again, not completely like we used to be, but enough… And then there was the wedding..." Leonard looked up from the sofa and met her eyes, waiting patiently for what the next few words were going to be, desperately hoping that they would take away the sting in his heart. She closed her eyes and a smile spread across her face. "One amazing day… And night… Changed everything." She opened her eyes and looked into his. He still had the same stunned and confused look on his face. "For that day, it was like you were my boyfriend again. I was beaming with joy the whole day because it was me and you again. You walked me down the aisle, you danced with me, and then you drove me home and helped me up the mountain of stairs when I was struggling. You took me home and… And you made me feel whole again." Their eyes were locked, she wondered if he had felt the same. She had this amazing feeling in her bones, she was finally letting go of everything that had been weighing her down and it was incredible. The sting in his chest was gone and his heart fluttered with joy, she really did care. "You were right you know? When you said it was my fault, it was, completely. I wanted you so bad that night, and I didn't care that you had a girlfriend, not really. Because she wasn't supposed to be your girlfriend anyway, I am. I wanted you Leonard. But not just for the night. I wanted you for… For the next day, and for the day after…" She faced the ground again and spoke quieter. "And for the day after that…" Her voice changed to a whisper. "And for the day after that." She looked up again and coyly smiled. "For forever... Having you for that one day, made me realise just how much I had missed being your girlfriend, it made me realise something that scared the life out of me." Penny reached her good hand up and touched his cheek. "I finally realised that I love you."

Leonard tried to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. She was telling him everything that he had wanted to hear from her for years, he couldn't quite take it all in. He still struggled to find any words and instead stuck with the same expression he had had the whole length of the conversation. Confused, shocked, but intrigued. She grazed her thumb against his cheek and he closed his eyes, focusing his mind on what she had said and the feel of her against his skin. "I love you Leonard. I want to be with you forever. I want to be your girlfriend again. And one day, when we are both ready and I have the rest of my life together, I want to be your wife. I want to have your children, and grow old with you." Penny took her hand away from his face and placed it down beside her other one in front of her. "That is, if you still want me?"


	14. Chapter 14

And there it was. She had said it. She had given him everything he had given to her so long ago, and he had no idea what to say. He had pictured this moment in his head so many times, and each time there was no hesitation. He didn't think about it, he simply told her he loved her too and kissed her. So what was stopping him this time? Pure shock maybe? He thought back to earlier that day when he had marched over to her apartment, determined to get her to tell him how she felt about him and give him some sort of peace of mind. He had expected to have to pull it out of her, to wear her down until she finally let go of her barriers and told him whether she really cared about him or not. He hadn't expected this. Complete honesty and raw emotion were things he rarely saw in her, yet here she was, spilling her guts to him and he couldn't find the words to reply. He felt the same for her, he knew he did. From the day he met her he knew that he wanted to be with her forever. And those feelings only grew with time. Even now he found himself falling for her all over again as he watched her give him everything she had inside of her. So what was stopping him from telling her all that now? If he was being honest, he didn't quite believe it. He didn't really believe that she could feel that way about him. Did she really want to be his wife and have his kids one day? It was too good to be true.

"Really?" He said. It was all he could pull out of his mouth.

She nodded her sincerity, "Leonard, letting you go was the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I know it took me a long time to realize it... Probably too long." She said quietly, looking down at her her hands. "But I realize it now. I know now that I want all those things one day, and I can't imagine having those things with anyone else but you. I don't _want_ to have any of those things with anyone but you. I love you so much... it scares the shit out of me, but I do." Her face was flushed as she looked back up at him.

Leonard looked deep into her eyes. He was stunned. Everything in him screamed at him to say the words that she was waiting to hear, the words that expressed how much he cared about her too. But the words wouldn't come. Why wouldn't they come? He thought back to when they were together and how his life could be just like it was back then if he simply told her he loved her too. Then he realized, he didn't want his life to be like it was back then. He wanted to be with her, of course he did, but not like they were before.

Leonard got up off the sofa and slowly paced the ground behind it. Pennys heart beat furiously as her stomach jumped around in her body. He was being too quiet and it was freaking her out. She needed to know what was going on in his head. The tables had been turned and suddenly it was her who was desperately trying to read his expression to try and figure out what he was thinking. She wished he would say something, anything. Even if he was to reject her right now, it didn't matter, she just needed to know. "Leonard, say something, please."

Leonard stopped pacing and looked into her desperate, searching eyes. "Penny… I don't know what to say." He said sadly.

Penny frowned, this really wasn't going like she had hoped. "Just tell me…" Her eyes filled with water. "Good, or bad. I need to know. Please."

The desperation in her voice made his stomach sink. He hated to see her like this. "Penny, you know how much I care about you…" Penny sank back into the couch, she had a feeling this wasn't going to be good. "But, I don't think I can do it again. I'm not strong enough."

"What don't you think you can do?" She asked sadly.

"Us, Penny. Me and you. I can't do it again... Not the way it was before." Leonard sighed and sat down on one of the chairs at her window. "I need more than what we had before… I need _this_…" He said pointing between the two of them. "…Us, talking. And you being honest with me. I need that all the time, Penny, not just every now and then when you are afraid of losing me. I need you to talk to me when you are feeling down about stuff, to tell me what is going on in that pretty head of yours, _all_ the time. I never want to have to guess what you are feeling again... It's too difficult Penny." He buried his hands in his face, still trying to stop the tears from falling.

Penny got up off the sofa, and walked over to him. She lifted his chin up so he was looking at her and then knelt down in front of him. She took his hands in hers and he shivered at the coldness of the hand that had been on ice. Penny lightly kissed his knuckles and looked up at him. "I can do that."

Leonard couldn't hold the tears in anymore and a few of them slowly slid down his cheek. "Are you sure you can? Because Penny, if we do this again… And it ends up the same way it did the last time, it will probably kill me."

Penny smiled, "I know." She said quietly as she kissed his hand again. "I know because it would kill me too. Leonard, I don't want to be with anyone else but you. This has been so hard for me, letting all my feelings out. I really hate being this vulnerable, but I promise I will do this for the rest of my life if it means you will stay by my side." Tears fell from her face as she looked up in hope at him.

Leonards mouth curled into a small smile as he raised a hand to wipe away her tears. He saw it; he saw what he needed to see. He saw her love for him, in her eyes and in her touch. He felt how hard this had been for her and he appreciated the honesty she was finally giving him. She loved him. And he loved her. He moved his hand to her jaw and he leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. Penny couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as his lips touched hers. Relief and joy spread over her entire body, he was finally hers again, and she couldn't be happier.

After a few seconds he pulled away from her, causing her to groan a little in disappointment. "I mean it you know?" He said with a look of utter seriousness. "If we are going to do this again, we have to be completely open with each other. No more being scared to tell each other how we feel, we talk to each other about everything, no more arguments about stupid things. That's the only way I can do this... Agree?"

Penny smiled, probably more than she should have given how serious he was, but she couldn't help it, he had kissed her and she was floating. She giggled and made a 'tick' in the air, "I agree."

Leonard frowned down at her in confusion. "What the hell was that?"

Penny opened her mouth in shock, as if he should already know. "You know, like I am ticking the box." She said as she made the 'tick' sign again. Leonard continued to stare in bemusement at her. "Oh come on! Like when you have to agree to the terms and conditions on like, itunes or something you tick the box. I am ticking the box!" She giggled.

Leonard couldn't help but laugh back. "What have we done to you? You used to be so normal."

Penny feigned hurt, "Whatever." She said and a smile spread across her face. "So, are there any more 'terms and conditions' that I should be aware of?"

Leonard sat back and pretended to be thinking hard about it. "Hmm, let me think... Well, I like this whole you telling me you love me thing, so you really gotta keep that up." Leonard smiled then looked down at her bruised hand, "You also have to agree that you will never try and punch me in the face if I try and kiss you, because by the looks of it you pack one_ hell_ of a punch..." He let out a chuckle and then thought hard again for a few seconds, "...And we have to have sex at _least_ four times a week. " Leonard was of course joking but somehow he managed to keep a straight and serious face.

Penny giggled and buried her face into his leg and after a few moments she looked up again. "First of all, I quite like telling you I love you, so I will agree to that. And I only punch the people I dont _want_ to kiss, so I will agree to that too." She said with a cheeky smile. "And the sex thing? At_ least_ four times a week?" Penny bit her bottom lip. "I would agree to that one, but I really don't think you would be able to keep up."

Leonard laughed, "Okay... _I disagree_, but okay… Now I am just going to need your signature." Penny looked up in confusion at him. "Right here." He said pointing to his lips.

Penny grinned widely, "That was _so_ cheesy, but okay." Penny stood up, sat on his lap, wrapped her hands around his neck and leaned in close to kiss him on the lips. The kiss was slow, sweet and loving. It wasn't at all like it had been the night of the wedding, that night was hungry and frantic. This time, they took their time, savouring every move and every touch of each others tongue and lips.

After a few minutes of tender kisses, Penny pulled back and rested her forehead on his. She looked deeply into his gorgeous brown eyes as she stroked his cheek. She couldn't quite believe that they were together again. After everything that had happened, he still wanted to be with her and that thought made her beam with happiness. She hadn't ruined everything. He still wanted her and now she would have him forever, because there was no way on earth she was letting him go again. She would do whatever it took. She would happily continue to lay her heart and soul out in front of him like she had today, if it meant he would be hers, forever.

Leonard was entranced as he looked into her beautiful emerald eyes. His world was finally complete again, but this time it was even better. She loved him, he had no idea why or how, but she did. They would finally be a proper couple, with mutual feeling and respect for one another. No more would he always be the one who felt more for her than she did for him, they were finally on equal ground. Well, maybe not quite equal, Leonard was sure that there was no way on earth she could love him as much as he loved her, but just to know that she felt even a percentage of what he felt for her, was more than good enough.

Everything had come together like it should. Everything that had happened, had happened for a reason. He needed to have that relationship with Priya, for Penny to realize how much she loved him and for Leonard to experience a mature relationship, even if it wasn't quite the loving one he had thought it was at the time. He needed to cheat on her, to bring home the realization that Priya wasn't right for him and he had to go through all of this crap, just so Penny and he could both finally realize that they were in love and only wanted to be with each other.

And then, all of a sudden, it was like they were back in his bed, more than a year ago, with her laying in front of him and him ready to tell her how he felt about her. "I love you Penny."

And this time, instead of getting scared and freaking out, she said the words that he longed to hear from her. She smiled sweetly, "I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

Penny and Leonard continued to stare lovingly into each other eyes, but the heavenly moment was interrupted by an all too familiar sound.

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

Leonard and Penny groaned in unison. "I forgot you come with baggage." Penny grumbled, making Leonard chuckle.

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

"Okay Sheldon! I'm coming!" Penny shouted as she reluctantly got up off of Leonard and headed to the door. "What's up, rubber duck?" She said with a smile as she opened the door to Sheldon, who was standing with his hands behind his back.

Sheldon frowned at her, "You seem to be in a better mood."

"I am, but you are in danger of ruining it if you don't tell me why you are here."

"Oh…" He said as he looked sheepishly to the floor. "No reason..."

Penny looked over to Leonard with a 'What the hell?' look on her face. Leonard just shrugged and shook his head. "What's going on Sheldon?" He asked as he headed towards the door.

Sheldon looked at Penny, then at Leonard, then back at Penny again, then to the floor. "You were gone for a long time Leonard, I just wanted to know if everything was okay now?"

"What do you mean?" Penny asked, as Leonard and her stared at him in bemusement.

"With you two... Is everything... Back to normal?"

Penny looked to Leonard, who was standing right behind her and smiled. "Yeah..." She said as she reached back and put her arms around him, and then kissed him on the lips.

Sheldon let a hint of a smile creep across his face before removing all signs of it with a frown. "I assume you remember my rules regarding sleeping arrangements?"

"Yes, Sheldon. How could we ever forget?!" Leonard said with a mocking tone, as Penny giggled.

"Good." Sheldon said, nodding. "Now, I will just need you to sign this." He said handing him the iPad he was hiding behind his back.

"What is it?" Leonard asked.

"That is our roommate agreement. I took some time to amend it, factoring in your new relationship with Penny. Now I just need you to sign, here, here and here." He said as he flicked through various pages.

Penny looked at him in confusion. "Sweetie, we only _just_ got back together! How can you have done this already?"

"Well, if you must know, I started it the day after you and Priya broke up."

"What?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon frowned at Leonards confusion. "I don't see why you are confused Leonard. I think we all saw you and Penny getting back together coming and frankly I'm surprised it took you so long. Now back to business." Sheldon pointed at the iPad and Leonard used his finger to sign all the places that Sheldon pointed to. "Alright, all done." He said with a smile. "Now, I guess I should go, knowing the two of you as well as I do, you probably want to get to the coitus." Leonard blushed as Sheldon turned away. A second later, before the door was shut, Sheldon turned around. "Oh and um… Congratulations." Sheldon gave them a sort of a smile, then turned and headed back into his apartment.

Penny and Leonard stood in slight confusion for a second before closing the door. "That was weird." Penny said.

"Yeah, it was." Leonard said, still looking at the door.

Penny held his chin, turning his face towards hers and in a second all thoughts of Sheldon were gone as they were once again focused on only each other. Penny wrapped her arms around his neck, while Leonard placed his on her lower back, pulling her closer to him. Penny leaned in and softly kissed him on the lips and he happily kissed her back.

The soft kisses slowly became more passionate as they took their time, biting on one another's lips and savoring the taste of the kisses they had missed out on over the time they weren't together. After a few long, glorious minutes, Leonard broke away. "Shall we take this to the bedroom?"

"Uh huh." Penny replied with an enormous grin as she took his hand and led him into her room.

* * *

A few hours later, Penny lay on her left side, facing Leonard as he slowly drifted off to sleep. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, and could barely believe that he was even lying in front of her. Part of her was still sure that she was going to wake up at any minute, cold, lonely and alone in her bed, but it never happened. He really was there, and she was so glad. She traced her finger over his chest, as he done the same to her arm.

After a few minutes Leonard stopped the movements with his fingers, and Penny looked up to see him sleeping deeply, with his glasses still on and slightly crooked. Penny grinned at the sight of her cute, exhausted little nerd and propped herself up on her elbow. Slowly, she reached out and very carefully took the glasses off him and placed them on her bedside table. Penny turned back around to face him, still propped up on her elbow and rested her head on her hand. She had a smile of adoration on her face as she watched him sleep.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the clock which read 1:35am. Penny knew she should go to sleep too, but she didn't want to, this was one of the rare times when she had the chance to watch him as he slept and she was almost mesmerized. When they had been together before, he would always be up before her in the morning, and she would usually be asleep before him at night. Penny made a note to herself that she wouldn't let that happen this time.

Penny moved a little closer to him, and began to slowly trace her finger over his face. She pushed the strands of hair back that had fallen onto his forehead, and then gently moved her finger over his hair line. He stirred, and Penny quickly removed her finger from him, hoping that she hadn't woken him up. Penny stayed deadly still for a few minutes while he settled back down, and she returned to her position. She reached up and used the back of her fingers to gently stroke his forehead. His skin was super soft. She kissed his forehead, then smoothed her finger along one eyebrow before giving it a soft kiss, and then done the same to the other.

Leonard frowned a little, and Penny wondered if what she was doing was disturbing his sleep, or if he was dreaming. She didn't want to wake him up, but she didn't want to stop either. She decided to continue but to be a little more careful with her touch. She then smoothed out his frown, following her finger along the lines on his face and then when all traces of them were gone Penny moved on. She slid her finger down the bridge of his nose, stopping when she reached the tip. She kept her finger there for a second then removed it as she moved in and kissed lightly where her finger had been. She then used the back of her fingers to stroke each of his cheeks, just like she had to his forehead, and then placed a light kiss on each one.

Penny found herself consciously breathing in, she had been holding her breath and her body was desperate for air, but she hadn't even noticed. She took a couple more breaths, returning her breathing back to normal. Penny then grazed her thumb along his stubbled jawline, stopping at his chin to circle a finger around it and then give it a soft kiss, letting out a small giggle as the feel of his unshaven skin tickled her. She looked up at his eyes, to make sure he was still soundly asleep, and smiled when she saw he was. Penny realized she had missed out his eyes and moved up and ever so gently, brushed her finger over his eyelid then gave it a kiss, before doing the same to the other. She sat back a little and stayed still as his eyes fluttered, but he didn't wake up. Penny smiled and bit her lip then traced her finger down his nose again, but this time she didn't stop at the tip, she just continued down until she reached the top of his lip. She lifted her finger and grazed her thumb over his bottom lip. Her heart began to beat a little faster, so she took a few breaths to try and calm it, but it didn't help. She gave up trying to stop it, and continued stroking his soft, smooth lip. Penny slightly opened her mouth and placed her lips over where her thumb had been.

When she pulled back she stroked her nose against his, and then moved down to touch her nose against his lips. Penny once again spotted the clock from the corner of her eye. This time it read 2:09. She had spent over half an hour admiring and placing kisses over his face as he slept but she had hardly felt the time move. She smiled as she moved her nose up to touch his cheek, and the realization of how intimate this was hit her. Only an hour or so ago they were pressed up against each other, grinding on each other and kissing one another in places that when touched sent waves of electricity up their bodies. But still, this was the most intimate thing she had done. She had never done this with any other man before, she had never even thought about doing this with anyone else before, and she wasn't even sure why she had the urge to do it now. All she knew was that she had an almost overwhelming need to touch and kiss the face she had missed so much. She adored him, every inch of him. She really did want him forever. The thought scared her for a moment, but it faded. A huge feeling of being completely content, happy and in love, washed away that fear.

Penny once again kissed his cheek, his nose and then his mouth. She wasn't being quite as careful as she had been earlier, and was still conscious about not waking him up, but this time the movement wakened him. She sat back a little resting her head on her hand and looked at him as his eyes fluttered open, gently stroking his jaw.

Leonard groaned as he opened his eyes. Penny was so close to him he could feel her breath on his cheek. He glanced over at the clock, and then to her. "Penny, it's 2:15am. Why are you still up?" He quietly croaked.

Penny took a breath and smiled as she grazed his cheek. "I couldn't sleep. Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. Have you been awake all this time?"

Penny nodded and moved her finger down his nose.

"Watching me?" Leonard said puzzled. He was usually the one who would do the watching and it was weird to think she was doing the same to him.

Penny nodded again as her face flushed. "You're so cute when you're sleeping." Leonard grinned and started to sit up, but Penny shook her head and gently pushed him back down. "Lay down honey. I like watching you sleep... Your skin is so soft, I love touching it." She said as she caressed his cheek.

Leonard frowned. "That's a little creepy." He said with a chuckle.

Penny grinned, "I know, but it's true." She said as she leaned down to kiss him on the nose. Leonard held her head and moved his lips up to hers and kissed her.

"I love you." She said when they broke apart, followed by a rather large yawn.

"I love you more." He whispered.

Penny smiled, then moved her hand to his chest and buried her face into his neck. "I've missed this."

Leonard rubbed her arm as he pulled her closer to him. "Mmm... Me too."


End file.
